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Sports activities are somehow considered a rejuvenation of one's mind. Although many people emphasize that sports are an important element in our society, while other debate that sports should be considered in leisure time only as a recreational activity. In my opinion, sports are a vital part of our society for the profession, career, and emotion and as well as for pleasure times. In a country like India where athletic events hold a major share of the industry, one can never miss a cricket match watching on the television. Sports are a field of profession where new aspirants dream to become a sports player from an early age. At first, it requires years of practice to excel in the game, and secondly, it takes numerous amounts of dedication to passing hierarchy to be known as a national-level sportsperson. For instance, for a cricket player such as Sachin Tendulkar, it took 20 years of struggle to become the worldwide known personality. Thus, the parents advise their children to p

Sports activities are somehow considered a rejuvenation of one's mind. Although many people emphasize that sports are an important element in our society, while other debate that sports should be considered in leisure time only as a recreational activity. In my opinion, sports are a vital part of our society for the profession, career, and emotion and as well as for pleasure times. In a country like India where athletic events hold a major share of the industry, one can never miss a cricket match watching on the television. Sports are a field of profession where new aspirants dream to become a sports player from an early age. At first, it requires years of practice to excel in the game, and secondly, it takes numerous amounts of dedication to passing hierarchy to be known as a national-level sportsperson. For instance, for a cricket player such as Sachin Tendulkar, it took 20 years of struggle to become the worldwide known personality. Thus, the parents advise their children to p E3lWD
Sports activities are somehow considered a rejuvenation of one's mind. Although many people emphasize that sports are an important element in our society, while other debate that sports should be considered in leisure time only as a recreational activity. In my opinion, sports are a vital part of our society for the profession, career, and emotion and as well as for pleasure times. In a country like India where athletic events hold a major share of the industry, one can never miss a cricket match watching on the television. Sports are a field of profession where new aspirants dream to become a sports player from an early age. At first, it requires years of practice to excel in the game, and secondly, it takes numerous amounts of dedication to passing hierarchy to be known as a national-level sportsperson. For instance, for a cricket player such as Sachin Tendulkar, it took 20 years of struggle to become the worldwide known personality. Thus, the parents advise their children to play specific sports which can be a fruitful career in the long term. On the other hand, the game also requires talent in a person which will motivate sportsmanship. So, everyone is not born with such talents, thus, wasting time on sports can be a risky option for life goals. Likewise, people consider outdoor games as an entertainment activity as it helps in reducing stress in working people and make more adults competent. Although pupils study long hours at institutes, games can be beneficial for their relaxation. To conclude, while sports are played as an alternative way to spend free time and can be enacted for enjoyment purpose but indulging in the sports could be an awarding career choice in society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
activities are somehow considered a rejuvenation of one's mind. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
emphasize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
element in our society, while other debate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should
be considered
in leisure time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
as a recreational activity. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are a vital part of our society for the profession, career, and emotion and
as well
as for pleasure times.

In a country like India where athletic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
hold a major share of the industry, one can never miss a cricket match watching on the television.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
are a field of profession where new aspirants dream to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
player from an early age. At
first
, it requires years of practice to excel in the game, and
secondly
, it takes numerous amounts of dedication to passing hierarchy to
be known
as a national-level sportsperson.
For instance
, for a cricket player such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
, it took 20 years of struggle to become the worldwide known personality.
Thus
, the parents advise their children to play specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which can be a fruitful career in the long term.

On the other hand
, the game
also
requires talent in a person which will motivate sportsmanship.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, everyone is not born with such talents,
thus
, wasting time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can be a risky option for life goals.
Likewise
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
as an entertainment activity as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in reducing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more adults competent. Although pupils study long hours at institutes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be beneficial for their relaxation.

To conclude
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are played
as an alternative way to spend free time and can
be enacted
for enjoyment purpose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
indulging in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
could be an awarding career choice in society.
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IELTS essay Sports activities are somehow considered a rejuvenation of one's mind. Although many people emphasize that sports are an important element in our society, while other debate that sports should be considered in leisure time only as a recreational activity. In my opinion, sports are a vital part of our society for the profession, career, and emotion and as well as for pleasure times. In a country like India where athletic events hold a major share of the industry, one can never miss a cricket match watching on the television. Sports are a field of profession where new aspirants dream to become a sports player from an early age. At first, it requires years of practice to excel in the game, and secondly, it takes numerous amounts of dedication to passing hierarchy to be known as a national-level sportsperson. For instance, for a cricket player such as Sachin Tendulkar, it took 20 years of struggle to become the worldwide known personality. Thus, the parents advise their children to p

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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