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Nowadays many young people spend their free time in shopping centers. This has a negative effect on youth and society to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Nowadays many young people spend their free time in shopping centers. This has a negative effect on youth and society with this statement. kY68K
It becomes noticed youth are spending their leisure time in Malls without any reason. In order, people are thinking this trend has a negative impact on both youngsters and society. In my opinion, I agree with this viewpoint and in this essay will discuss the same in the following paragraphs. Young people love to spend time in shopping malls with their friends to buy expensive products, watch late night movies and play games. Younger people make it a habit to get together in café and spend money in food courts. They hang out in the mall in spare time where they buy many things even if they don’t need them. Some of them are obsessed of fashion so they search for new trends Excessive time spent in malls also has a negative impact in society. Shopping requires money and youth will have to find the way to earn the money so they get involved in crime like robbery and snatching. It can affect not only their studies but also their financial situation. Young people never involve in productive activities and do not do voluntary services for charity and other beneficial works. In conclusion, I believe young people should avoid to spend their time in malls and use their precious time in positive activities for their better future and also in beneficial for society.
It becomes noticed youth are spending their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Malls
without any reason. In order,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are thinking this trend has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on both youngsters and society. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint and in this essay will discuss the same in the following paragraphs.

Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
with their friends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive products,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
late night movies and play games. Younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a habit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together in café and spend money in food courts. They hang out in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
in spare
It is better to use 'time' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "time when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
time where
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things even if they don’t need them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them
are obsessed
of fashion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they search for new
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
trends


Excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
also
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact in society. Shopping requires money and youth will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find the way to earn the money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in crime like robbery and snatching. It can affect not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their financial situation. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never involve in productive activities and do not do voluntary services for charity and other beneficial works.

In conclusion
, I believe young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
The verb 'avoid' is used with the gerund form: "avoid spending".
avoid to spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
activities for their better future and
also
in beneficial for society.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many young people spend their free time in shopping centers. This has a negative effect on youth and society with this statement.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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