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Sport and its benefits in our life

Sport and its benefits in our life 9BOqp
From the beginning of people’s civilization people had a necessity in physical activity to hunt and survive attacks of the predators. Since this time people have become smarter and nowadays there’s no reason to be scared of predators or other difficulties we can meet with, but there’s still a point to do sports. Nowadays people become lazier and oftenly they have a job that doesn’t need enough physical activity to do. So there’s a point for us to stand up and start doing something instead of just sitting in front of our PCs. Sport makes our bodies stronger and more powerful, it helps us to live longer, live without any diseases. Today we can easily start doing any sport we want, we can just use our smartphones or computers to find any sports app we want. We can find any sports trainer we like and ask him to develop an individual training program. It is better when we start doing sports in our childhood because at this time our body develops faster and we can easily build a healthy organism. You must be sure that there’s nothing harmful for your body while you are doing a sport, because of its benefits.
From the beginning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
civilization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had a necessity in physical activity to hunt and survive attacks of the predators. Since this time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become smarter and nowadays there’s no reason to
be scared
of predators or other difficulties we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there’s
still
a point to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become lazier and
Possible spelling mistake found.
oftenly
they have a job that doesn’t need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
physical activity to do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there’s a point for us to stand up and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
something
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sitting in front of our PCs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our bodies stronger and more powerful, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without any diseases.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
we can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
we want, we can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our smartphones or computers to find any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
app we want. We can find any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
trainer we like and ask him to develop an individual training program. It is better when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in our childhood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at this time our body develops
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
faster and
we can
easily
build a healthy organism. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be sure that there’s nothing harmful for your body while you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its benefits.
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IELTS essay Sport and its benefits in our life

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
201 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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