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Some young people look forward to a year of traveling, a gap year before they begin work or university, and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others, this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A large number of adults are partial to gap year because of the opportunities provided for them to expand their view before absorbing by labor market or education environments, while others believe that it is costly and time-consuming. In my opinion, I believe, if people travel with the concept of collecting experience they will be more successful in their future. Losing a year can have a detrimental effect on a person's future life. In today's fast-paced world, people have to work harder than ever to keep up, so spending a year on a trip seems irrational. Besides, young people are not economically independent, and the cost of travel may put more pressure and expense on their parents, especially for some economically disadvantaged people. So a year off can be a costly year with time lost. Undoubtedly, not only does a gap year overdue attending university or entering the business world but also imposes an additional cost on them but obviously, the experience acquired from this long journey will change prospects of those that opt it before deciding for their educational and career future. One of the paramount decisions for each person is when we want to select the area to continue our study or work and reaching the best decision will occur when we accurately know ourselves. This cognition is simply achievable via dissimilar situations that we are intentionally or unintentionally located in the various journeys. Therefore, a gap year is the best time to know ourselves and expand not only our vision but also our knowledge of our life. In conclusion, treasure obtained from a gap year in traveling is so valuable that people spend one year of their lives on it and bear its costs.
A large number of adults are partial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the opportunities provided for them to expand their view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
absorbing by labor market or education environments, while others believe that it is costly and time-consuming. In my opinion, I believe, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel with the concept of collecting experience they will be more successful in their future.

Losing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
can have a detrimental effect on a person's future life. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work harder than ever to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
spending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
on a trip seems irrational.
Besides
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
economically
independent, and the cost of travel may put more pressure and expense on their parents,
especially
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
economically
disadvantaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off can be a costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
with time lost.

Undoubtedly
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
overdue attending university or entering the business world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
imposes an additional cost on them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
obviously
, the experience acquired from this long journey will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
prospects of those that opt it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding for their educational and career future. One of the paramount decisions for each person is when we want to select the area to continue our study or work and reaching the best decision will occur when we
accurately
know ourselves. This cognition is
simply
achievable via dissimilar situations that we are
intentionally
or
unintentionally
located in the various journeys.
Therefore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is the best time to know ourselves and expand not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
our vision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
our knowledge of our life.

In conclusion
, treasure obtained from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in traveling is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
valuable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
on it and bear its costs.
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IELTS essay Some young people look forward to a year of traveling, a gap year before they begin work or university, and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others, this is an expensive waste of time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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