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Some young people are leaving the country to live in cities and towns leaving only old people in the countryside.Is this a positive or negative development

Some young people are leaving the country to live in cities and towns leaving only old people in the countryside. Is this a positive or negative development yNxjM
The migration of the younger generation to urban areas is leaving many rural areas populated predominantly by the elderly. This essay agrees with the fact that the younger people leaving the countryside can have problematic consequences. I believe the 2 most serious are the depletion of the rural workforce and the lack of education, the future generation will receive. When 18-30-year-olds move to towns and cities in search of new opportunities and start a new lifestyle, they leave the aging population to do all the work. With consideration to the villages, many people live daily by doing manual labor. However, as time passes, things get out of hand and older people will find it extremely stressful and difficult to carry out these jobs. It usually goes on from one generation to the next but things can take a different turn when the younger people move out. A recent government survey shows that the amount of land sold to different businesses and is increasing year by year. Moving out from a village which has huge amounts of the workforce, will make it difficult for the villagers as well as for the development of the village. The above data clearly shows how the migration of future generations can lead to devastating effects. Another point to consider is the effect on education, and how people will gradually focus on getting their work done. In many rural areas, there is no longer a village school for local children to attend instead with the migration, all the children have been transferred to schools in towns and cities. Furthermore, not enough kids are living in the village for the schools to run, eventually causing the schools to shut down. A clear example refers to my own experience, where we had at least one school in each village making education a priority to everyone's life, however, things have changed and now if a survey is conducted, the numbers have decreased drastically. This eventually makes the towns and cities go out of population and more developed when compared to the villages which could be brought to the same stage as well. In conclusion, the significant rise in the numbers of an average age of old people living in rural areas has resulted in suitable people who are set to work harder in place of workforce and closure of the schools, causing major hardships for the development and handling of the villages. It is recommended, that the government takes procedures in introducing new programs of affordable accommodation with the installation of public transport.
The migration of the younger generation to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is leaving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
populated
predominantly
by the elderly. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the fact that the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
leaving the countryside can have problematic consequences. I believe the 2 most serious are the depletion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
workforce and the lack of education, the future generation will receive.

When 18-30-year-olds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to towns and cities in search of new opportunities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a new lifestyle, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the aging population to do all the work. With consideration to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
daily by doing manual labor.
However
, as time passes, things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of hand and older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will find it
extremely
stressful and difficult to carry out these jobs. It
usually
goes on from one generation to the
next
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
things can take a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
turn when the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out. A recent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the amount of land sold to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
businesses and is increasing year by year. Moving out from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
which has huge amounts of the workforce, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it difficult for the villagers
as well
as for the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
. The above data
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how the migration of future generations can lead to devastating effects.

Another point to consider is the effect on education, and how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
gradually
focus on getting their work done. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, there is no longer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for local children to attend
instead
with the migration, all the children have
been transferred
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in towns and cities.
Furthermore
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
kids are living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to run,
eventually
causing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to shut down. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example refers to my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, where we had at least one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
making education a priority to everyone's life,
however
, things have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
if a survey
is conducted
, the numbers have decreased
drastically
. This
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the towns and cities go out of population and more developed when compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
which could
be brought
to the same stage
as well
.

In conclusion
, the significant rise in the numbers of an average age of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
has resulted in suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are set
to work harder in place of workforce and closure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, causing major hardships for the development and handling of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
. It
is recommended
, that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
takes procedures in introducing new programs of affordable accommodation with the installation of public transport.
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IELTS essay Some young people are leaving the country to live in cities and towns leaving only old people in the countryside. Is this a positive or negative development

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
424 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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