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Some think we should take more measures to deal with criminals. However, others think that there is not much we can do to curb law breaking. Discuss both views and give opinion

Some think we should take more measures to deal with criminals. However, others think that there is not much we can do to curb law breaking. Discuss both views and give opinion Wy8BN
Crime is a serious and growing problem in most societies. Although many people believe that the best way to tackle this is to take more measures to deal with criminals, others are of the opinion that This is not very effective. On the one hand, we can enact and improve many new measures to cope with the increasing number of crimes. For example, putting crime in jail for longer periods is one of the most effective ways because spending a long time in prison provides an opportunity for the prison services to rehabilitate a prisoner. For example, someone who has committed a serious offence such as rape will need a long time in prison in order to be sure they can be re-educated not to re-offend. In addition to this, longer prison sentences will act as a deterrent for someone who is thinking of committing a crime. On the other hand, despite introducing more measures to deal with crimes, there are still many limitations in enforcing them. For example, in Brazil, slums still exist and this is also the largest drug outlet in South America with many illegal businesses but covered by police and law organizations. Therefore, even though more penalties are issued, it is useless when even law enforcement people violate the law. In addition, the government can focus resources on the causes of crime, which will lead to fewer crimes in the future than just issuing more measures without regard to the outcome. In conclusion, many countries have strict legal system, but crime has continued to increase throughout the world, so it is clear that this is not completely effective. So, I think we should pay more attention to the quality of the legal system than the number of laws enacted.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
is a serious and growing problem in most societies. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the best way to tackle this is to take more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
to deal with criminals, others are of the opinion that This is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective.

On the one hand, we can enact and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
to cope with the increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
For example
, putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in jail for longer periods is one of the most effective ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
spending a long time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
provides an opportunity for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
services to rehabilitate a prisoner.
For example
, someone who has committed a serious
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
such as rape will need a long time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
in order to be sure they can be re-educated not to re-offend.
In addition
to this, longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences will act as a deterrent for someone who is thinking of committing a crime.

On the other hand
, despite introducing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
limitations in enforcing them.
For example
, in Brazil, slums
still
exist and this is
also
the largest drug outlet in South America with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
illegal businesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
covered by police and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
organizations.
Therefore
,
even though
more penalties
are issued
, it is useless when even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
enforcement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
violate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can focus resources on the causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, which will lead to fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in the future than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
issuing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
without regard to the outcome.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries have strict legal system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has continued to increase throughout the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that this is not completely effective.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should pay more attention to the quality of the legal system than the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
enacted.
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IELTS essay Some think we should take more measures to deal with criminals. However, others think that there is not much we can do to curb law breaking. Discuss both views and give opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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