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some think that the government should give mobile phone and internet access to those who are unemployed

some think that the government should give mobile phone and internet access to those who are unemployed G3jKj
Nowadays, as the pandemic happens, finding job is extremely hard for those who do not have a smartphone and an internet access. Some claim that the government should provide such things for people who do not have occupation. To begin with, giving people free phone and internet access is essential to those individual who wants to find job through online. Being able to connect to a web is great help for them, especially for those who cannot afford to have one. However, some people use their gadget not on looking for a job rather they use it for variuos games like mobile legend, roblox and some others addictve games. In addition, a number of people will be beneficial to this trend. Having their own cellphone makes them connect easily to their family, co-worker and collegues. For instance, one of your friend is living abroad you can use your phone to contact him or make a video call to see him as he was just beside you. To sum up, the person's courage and perseverance defines the ability of the person to find work not on the mobile phone itself and the internet access.
Nowadays, as the pandemic happens, finding job is
extremely
hard
for those
who
do not have a smartphone and an internet access.
Some
claim that the
government
should provide such things for
people
who
do not have occupation.

To
begin
with, giving
people
free phone and internet access is essential to those individual
who
wants to find job through online. Being able to connect to a web is great
help
for them,
especially
for those
who
cannot afford to have one.
However
,
some
people
use
their gadget not on looking for a job
rather
they
use
it for
variuos
games like mobile legend,
roblox
and
some
others
addictve
games.

In addition
, a number of
people
will be beneficial to this trend. Having their
own
cellphone
makes
them connect
easily
to their family, co-worker and
collegues
.
For instance
, one of your friend is living abroad you can
use
your phone to contact him or
make
a video call to
see
him as he was
just
beside you.

To sum up, the person's courage and perseverance defines the ability of the person to find work not on the mobile phone itself and the internet access.
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IELTS essay some think that the government should give mobile phone and internet access to those who are unemployed

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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