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people help directly in the local community for people who need it. Other people argue that people should move money to the national charities.

people help directly in the local community for people who need it. Other people argue that people should move money to the national charities. 2xedX
Recently, whether or not people help directly in the local community for people who need it. Other people argue that people should move money to the national charities. This essay will closely examine both positions before giving my opinion regarding this matter. On the one hand, supporting directly to vulnerable people is more effective than that to some charity organizations because local communities can know exactly about poor circumstances and prepare suitable suportive packages as same as, the poverty people receive definitely the packages in short time. there do not have a few mistakes such as helping wrong people who are not poor or sending gifts to incorrect address. For example, while the South of Vietnam is covered by Covid-19 epidemic breaking down, a large amount of homeless people who are affected extremely but thanks to direct help of citizens surrounding Ho Chi Minh city, that people can escape successful the hard case without caring from the government. On the orther hand, if transfering money or presents for private or social charities, more unfortunate families are be supported as a result of having apperrance of the systems which have an assignment is handling suddenly problems. Moreover, the charity groups have more employees to work in a large scale than that in some local communities. For instance, the central of Vietnam always is affected by typhoons, floors annually, the number of victims increases gradually day in and day out but normal people do not help directly due to dangers. Therefore, the national and private charities are the best choice for people who want to share money for the victims. However, the time to send money between supporters and the poors is quite slow when through the aid groups because the teams have to investigate thoroughly damaged location before carrying out. In my opinion, people should help directly to Difficult situations because there have more meaning created and the supporters themselves also feel more happy.
Recently,
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
directly
in the local community for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
need it. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
. This essay will
closely
examine both positions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving my opinion regarding this matter.

On the one hand, supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
directly
to vulnerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
more effective than that to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
organizations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
local communities can know exactly about poor circumstances and prepare suitable
Possible spelling mistake found.
suportive
packages as same as, the poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
receive definitely the packages in short time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
do not have a few mistakes such as helping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not poor or sending gifts to incorrect address.
For example
, while the South of Vietnam
is covered
by Covid-19 epidemic breaking down, a large amount of homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
thanks to direct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of citizens surrounding
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Ho Chi Minh city
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can escape successful the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
case without caring from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
orther
hand, if
Possible spelling mistake found.
transfering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or presents for private or social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
, more unfortunate families are
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
supported
as a result
of having
Possible spelling mistake found.
apperrance
of the systems which have an assignment is handling
suddenly
problems.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
groups have more employees to work in a large scale than that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
local communities.
For instance
, the central of Vietnam
The adverb 'always' usually goes after the verb 'is'.
always is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by typhoons, floors
annually
, the number of victims increases
gradually
day in and day out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
directly
due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
.
Therefore
, the national and private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
are the best choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the victims.
However
, the time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
between supporters and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
poors
is quite slow when through the aid groups
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the teams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
investigate
thoroughly
damaged location
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
carrying out.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
directly
to Difficult situations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there have more meaning created and the supporters themselves
also
feel more happy.
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IELTS essay people help directly in the local community for people who need it. Other people argue that people should move money to the national charities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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