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Some people think that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Some people think that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion. yXXLE
Music can break all language barrier. It is believed by many people that music helps to unite people from diverse culture and person of different age group to bond with each other. I do agree with music acting as bridge for globalization of different cultures. Firstly, music doesn’t need any language to convey it message, however people all over the world may might not understand the lyrics but the feelings what the music might need to surpass can be felt mutual. According to a research, scientist have found in the pre-modern era music played an important role while communicating between two different tribes. Also, it has help us to globalize and share our values. For example, Tomorrowland world’s largest music festival where people from all over the world and of all ages come and enjoy also share their own values and traditions. Secondly, music can act as a stepping stone to overcome the generation gap between various age group. As sometimes, music can bring nostalgia and it can also brings old memories down the lane where the old generation and new generation can vibe together. Moreover, music is something which has no age barrier, different groups of people do enjoy the same tune and rhyme along with it. In conclusion, according to above arguments it can be derived that the music can be a good mediator in closing the gap between diverse culture and can help in bringing the world a little bit more closure and a better place to live.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
can break all language barrier. It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from diverse culture and person of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group to bond with each other. I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
acting as bridge for globalization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
doesn’t need any language to convey it message,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
may might not understand the lyrics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the feelings what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
might need to surpass can
be felt
mutual. According to a research, scientist have found in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-modern
era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
played an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role while communicating between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
tribes.
Also
, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to globalize and share our values.
For example
, Tomorrowland
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
festival where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and enjoy
also
share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
values and traditions.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can act as a stepping stone to overcome the generation gap between various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can bring nostalgia and it can
also
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "bring"
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
memories down the lane where the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation and new generation can vibe together.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is something which has no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
barrier,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do enjoy the same tune and rhyme along with it.

In conclusion
, according to above arguments it can
be derived
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mediator in closing the gap between diverse culture and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in bringing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
more closure and a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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