Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames. yW2J
These days not many children are seen playing outdoor games, instead they stay indoors and get themselves engaged in activities like playing video games. Some think that outdoor games have more importance when compared with playing video games. I too think the same. The prime reason for my argument is because of the fact that more children are found unhealthy these days just because they live a sedentary life inside their homes. To be clear, when children have less opportunities to play outside, the risk of life-style diseases such as obesity is higher among them. When children become less agile, not only their physical fitness is affected, but also their intellectual capabilities are altered adversely. Studies have shown that children who spend more time playing video games and mobile games have lesser problem solving abilities. The second point to be noted is that outdoor games enhances socialization among children. To be precise, when children get engaged in group activities such as football and volleyball, they learn better socialization skills. Another advantage which outdoor games have over video games is that, it develops qualities such as competitions and co-operation, which are considered as vital skills in a child’s future. On the other hand, when children play video games and computer games, it keeps them an enhanced entertainment experience. However, I think in most cases, children get addicted to these, which might affect them in various ways. To conclude, though there are benefits for children when they play video games, I think playing outdoor games is better.
These days not
many
children
are
seen
playing
outdoor
games
,
instead
they stay indoors and
get
themselves engaged in activities like
playing
video
games
.
Some
think
that
outdoor
games
have more importance when compared with
playing
video
games
.
I too
think
the same.

The prime reason for my argument is
because of the fact that
more
children
are found
unhealthy these days
just
because
they
live
a sedentary life inside their homes. To be
clear
, when
children
have
less
opportunities to play outside, the
risk
of life-style diseases such as obesity is higher among them. When
children
become less agile, not
only
their physical fitness is
affected
,
but
also
their intellectual capabilities
are altered
adversely
. Studies have shown that
children
who spend more time
playing
video
games
and mobile
games
have lesser problem solving abilities.

The second point to
be noted
is that
outdoor
games
enhances socialization among
children
. To be precise, when
children
get
engaged in group activities such as football and volleyball, they learn better socialization
skills
. Another advantage which
outdoor
games
have over
video
games
is that, it develops qualities such as competitions and co-operation, which
are considered
as vital
skills
in a child’s future.

On the other hand
, when
children
play
video
games
and computer
games
, it
keeps
them an enhanced entertainment experience.
However
, I
think
in most cases
,
children
get
addicted to these, which might affect them in various ways.

To conclude
, though there are benefits for
children
when they play
video
games
, I
think
playing
outdoor
games
is better.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts