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Some think that all entertaining TV programmes should educate people about the importance of social issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some think that all entertaining TV programmes should educate people about the importance of social issues. 3Okl
Television programs are meant to entertain masses. While there are people who want that every program must spread awareness on social problems, I cannot completely agree with this notion. In the forthcoming paragraphs I will give reasons to support my view point. Firstly, idea5of entertainment is not some for everyone. Different age groups have different interests, for instance, children like cartoons whereas adults prefer to watch dramas or wildlife. Therefore only educational programs will not be entertaining for all. Thus based on the viewers there must be varieties in the program. Secondly, channels must be given freedom to express themselves. Moreover, filming is an art created by different artists, confining them to particular subject will hinders their creativity. Although it is not the responsibility of television broadcaster to educate people socially, but also to every individual. So, it will be unfair to bar artists from creating different genres. In conclusion the TV program should be based on interest of people and not on orders given by any authorities. Additionally, the channels must be given freedom to express their creativity.
Television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are meant
to entertain masses. While there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who want that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spread awareness on social problems, I cannot completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion. In the forthcoming paragraphs I will give reasons to support my view point.

Firstly
, idea5of entertainment is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
for everyone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Different
age groups have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
interests,
for instance
, children like cartoons whereas adults prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
dramas or wildlife.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
will not be entertaining for all.
Thus
based on the viewers there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
The usual preposition for "varieties" is "of" not "in." Revise: "varieties of".
varieties in
the program.

Secondly
, channels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
freedom to express themselves.
Moreover
, filming is an art created by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
artists, confining them to particular subject will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "hinder"
hinders
their creativity. Although it is not the responsibility of television broadcaster to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
socially
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to every individual.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it will be unfair to bar artists from creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
genres.

In conclusion
the TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
should
be based
on interest of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and not on orders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by any authorities.
Additionally
, the channels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
freedom to express their creativity.
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IELTS essay Some think that all entertaining TV programmes should educate people about the importance of social issues.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
179 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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