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Some think that a country’s progress is completely dependent on its economic success, while others believe that other factors are also important. What are the different factors contributing to the progress of a country? Do you believe that only one factor is important, compared to others?

Some think that a country’s progress is completely dependent on its economic success, while others believe that other factors are also important. What are the different factors contributing to the progress of a country? Do you believe that only one factor is important, compared to others? qV6bd
The progress of a country depends on multiple factors ranging from economic progress and literacy to law and order. I think that a country is a complex system that can not be simplified into economic performance only. Without financial resources to implement welfare schemes and invest in the future, no country can be successful. With money, countries such as China and the United States have the ability to develop medicines and build hospitals to effectively tackle the Covid-19 pandemic. Moreover, this gives them the power to educational institutions, roads and highways, power plants, and dams to ensure basic services for their citizens. For example, India has built thousands of kilometers of highways to promote internal trade and more than ten ports to facilitate international trade. These would have been impossible without the economic power of the country. Despite the immense benefits of monetary might, a nation’s overall success also hinges on other factors such as literacy. The more educated a society is, the more is the extent of happiness. Unlike an illiterate person, a literate one understands his duties and rights which ensures not only social but also individual well being. Moreover, immeasurable wealth in the absence of peace and security leads to violence. The presence of police personnel in sufficient numbers coupled with an efficient and independent judiciary is necessary for prosperity in a country. For example, though France’s per capita income is far less than that of Saudi Arabia, the former has strong law enforcement agencies. This makes the former more favourable destination for workers than the latter. In conclusion, though economic strength is necessary for a country, other factors are equally important to make it successful. Education along with law and order is crucial for this purpose.
The progress of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
depends on multiple factors ranging from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress and literacy to law and order. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is a complex system that can not
be simplified
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
performance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

Without financial resources to implement welfare schemes and invest in the future, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can be successful. With money,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as China and the United States have the ability to develop medicines and build hospitals to
effectively
tackle the Covid-19 pandemic.
Moreover
, this gives them the power to educational institutions, roads and highways, power plants, and dams to ensure basic services for their citizens.
For example
, India has built thousands of kilometers of highways to promote internal trade and more than ten ports to facilitate international trade. These would have been impossible without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
power of the country.

Despite the immense benefits of monetary might, a nation’s
overall
success
also
hinges on other factors such as literacy. The more educated a society is, the more is the extent of happiness. Unlike an illiterate person, a literate one understands his duties and rights which ensures not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
social
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
individual
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.
Moreover
, immeasurable wealth in the absence of peace and security leads to violence. The presence of police personnel in sufficient numbers coupled with an efficient and independent judiciary is necessary for prosperity in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, though France’s per capita income is far less than that of Saudi Arabia, the former has strong law enforcement agencies. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the former more
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
destination for workers than the latter.

In conclusion
, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
strength is necessary for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, other factors are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it successful. Education along with law and order is crucial for this purpose.
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IELTS essay Some think that a country’s progress is completely dependent on its economic success, while others believe that other factors are also important. What are the different factors contributing to the progress of a country? Do you believe that only one factor is important, compared to others?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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