Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some systems require students to specialize in a limited range of subjects from the age of fifteen. Other systems require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school? What are the benefits of two education systems and what is better ?

In educational field, there has been divided view of teaching schemes of the pupils during their schooling. Some intellectuals believe that students should be taught special subjects in deepth, while others concern that wide range of subjects should be taught to students by professors. The positive sides of both views are discussed further. To begin, the first view is accent the qualitative study of few essential subjects. The practise would increase interest of students in vital subjects, as well as, provoke students to gain speacial information which is essential for their study. Moreover, benefits of few subjects help to elevate efficiency of learning. This action could lead to gain ample knowledge of their selected subjects without pressure. For example, the survey showed that most students feel depression due to pressure of studying wide range of subjects. Finally, learning few subjects would inspire the age of fifteen for the qualitative knowledge without stress. On the other hand, the second view is considering to teach much subjects to pupils before they do further education. During the elementary school, pupils are taught to many basic subjects by schools in order to build flourished career such as well promotion. In addition, Parents induce their adolescence to learn many subjects, although, wide range of subjects would create more pressure. This situation would cause to loss of efficiency of learning and interesting. In conclusion, both the patterns of learning have their specific advantages. In my personal opinion, the former view is more beneficial for students, especially, it would lucrative for the elementary school pupils.
In educational field, there has
been divided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
of teaching schemes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
during their schooling.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
intellectuals believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be taught
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
deepth
, while others concern that wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by professors. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
are discussed
further
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
is accent the qualitative study of few essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. The
Possible spelling mistake. ‘practise’ is British English.
practise
would increase interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
as well
as, provoke
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to gain
Possible spelling mistake found.
speacial
information which is essential for their study.
Moreover
, benefits of few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to elevate efficiency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. This action could lead to gain ample knowledge of their selected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
without pressure.
For example
, the survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
feel depression due to pressure of studying wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
would inspire the age of fifteen for the qualitative knowledge without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
On the other hand
, the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
is considering to teach
Use “many” with countable plural nouns like ‘subjects’.
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they do
further
education. During the elementary school,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
are taught
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
by schools in order to build flourished career such
as well
promotion.
In addition
, Parents induce their adolescence to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, although, wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
would create more pressure. This situation would cause to loss of efficiency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and interesting.
In conclusion
, both the patterns of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
This verb is used with the infinitive: “to have”
have
their specific advantages. In my personal opinion, the former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
is more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
especially
, it
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
would lucrative
for the elementary school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some systems require students to specialize in a limited range of subjects from the age of fifteen. Other systems require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school? What are the benefits of two education systems and what is better?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
258 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts