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Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure pBK0
Nowadays, there are a lot of students who spend most of their time working rather than studying. This may lead to a lack of time for education and remaining under pressure. I believe that students spend most of their time in their work while studying and reduced time in studying is due to lack of financial support. It is apparent that most of the students who work have many financial expenses to meet. One common cause is high cost of education. As many colleges and universities set high tuition fees, some families cannot fully afford the higher education for their children. Consequently, these students have to work to pay university and college fees. The other cause is living expenses. Many students study away from hometown, and have to pay for accommodation, food, entertainment etc. As it is often hard to cover these expenses, students are forced to earn money to afford their living. I think that the problem of students working during their studies results in lower quality of education and has no benefits at all. Thus, it should be solved on the governmental level.
Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
working
rather
than studying. This may lead to a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and remaining under pressure. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in their work while studying and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in studying is due to lack of financial support.

It is apparent that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who work have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
financial expenses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
. One common cause is high cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
colleges and universities set high tuition fees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
families cannot
fully
afford the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for their children.
Consequently
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work to pay university and college fees. The other cause is living expenses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
study away from hometown, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for accommodation, food, entertainment etc. As it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to cover these expenses,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are forced
to earn money to afford their living. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
working during their studies results in lower quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and has no benefits at all.
Thus
, it should
be solved
on the governmental level.
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IELTS essay Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
185 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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