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Some students work while studying

Some students work while studying mb1dK
There are plwnty of students who are studying while they are working. The nukber of people from this category is increasingly growing year by year. I belive this tendency can be resolved by taking some serious actions. Firstly, students have plenty of financial expensez to meet. It is obvious that univeristies, colleges and many other instutionap establishments set higher tuition free. Therefore, it leds people to work in order to cover their needs. Secondly, many families have limited budges. If students live far away from the place where they are studying this cause makes them spend extra amount of money in terms of food, accomodation, entertainment etc. Consequently, both mental and physical anxiety is unavoidable. I have two suggestions to change it for the benefits of both government as wepl as students. For instance, if governement makes the higher education free, everybody will have access to get education without paying any penny. As a result of this, studying class will have more time to focu on their studies. Another considerable offer I would like to point out by shifting the policy of education in order to support remote learning. Studying from any place that it preferable for anyone. Remote studying will not only help them to save time, but also they will end up eliminating their life expenses in total. To sum up, considering the amount of working hours of students and its potential detrimental impacts, this tendency can be easily and quickly solved with at a governmental level.
There are
Possible spelling mistake found.
plwnty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
while they are working. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
nukber
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from this category is
increasingly
growing year by year.
Did you mean "I believe"?
I belive
this tendency can
be resolved
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious actions.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of financial
Possible spelling mistake found.
expensez
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
. It is obvious that
Possible spelling mistake found.
univeristies
, colleges and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
instutionap
establishments set higher tuition free.
Therefore
, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
leds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to work in order to cover their needs.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families have limited budges. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away from the place where they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
this cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them spend extra amount of money in terms of food,
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
, entertainment etc.
Consequently
, both mental and physical anxiety is unavoidable. I have two suggestions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
it for the benefits of both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
wepl
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For instance
, if
Possible spelling mistake found.
governement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the higher education free, everybody will have access to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
education without paying any penny.
As a result
of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will have more time to
Possible spelling mistake found.
focu
on their studies. Another considerable offer I would like to point out by shifting the policy of education in order to support remote learning.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studying
from any place that
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
preferable for anyone. Remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to save time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up eliminating their life expenses in total. To sum up, considering the amount of working hours of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and its potential detrimental impacts, this tendency can be
easily
and
quickly
solved with at a governmental level.
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IELTS essay Some students work while studying

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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