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Some students travel abroad for one year before starting university. What are the advantage and disadvantages

Some students travel abroad for one year before starting university. What are the advantage and disadvantages yMld
today's era, learners take a gap for one year before going for their higher studies. This recent trend is also known as "gap- year", has numerous merits and a few demerits, which will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. o begin, there are numerous advantages behind this phenomenon. First and foremost is, students have good opportunity to discover their career interest, when they will know about their interest then they can easily select their higher study subjects as well as they will know about other countries culture. Hence, learners can make their future bright because they will give their 100 percentage to study as they will select according to their choice. Along with this, they can reduce financial burden of their parents because in free time they can do some work and earn money for their further studies. On the other side, there are some drawbacks when students spend a year travelling before joining the universities. Firstly, they loose their interest and confidence because they take a long break from their studies so it is too difficult to restart it with full interest because they have already interested in some other activities as well as after long time they will not be confident to discuss their own point of views in front of other students and teachers. Along with this, they waste their money because sometimes they spend their money in wrong things for enjoying, not for their learning purposes. To conclude, as every coin has two sides, one is black and other is bright. Similarly, this trend has also merits and demerits but its advantages are more than disadvantages, if learners take good knowledge about their further studies which make their future bright.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
today
's era, learners take a gap for one year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going for their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. This recent trend is
also
known as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
gap- year
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, has numerous merits and a few demerits, which will
be discussed
in upcoming paragraphs.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
o
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there are numerous advantages behind this phenomenon.
First
and foremost is, students have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to discover their career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
, when they will know about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
then they can
easily
select their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
subjects
as well
as they will know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries culture.
Hence
, learners can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their future bright
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will give their 100 percentage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
as they will select according to their choice. Along with this, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
financial burden of their parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in free time they can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
work and earn money for their
further
studies.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks when students spend a year travelling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
joining the universities.
Firstly
, they
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and confidence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they take a long break from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is too difficult to restart it with full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have already interested in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities
as well
as after long time they will not be confident to discuss their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
point of views in front of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
students and teachers. Along with this, they waste their money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they spend their money in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
things for enjoying, not for their learning purposes.

To conclude
, as every coin has two sides, one is black and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
is bright.
Similarly
, this trend has
also
merits and demerits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its advantages are more than disadvantages, if learners take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge about their
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their future bright.
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IELTS essay Some students travel abroad for one year before starting university. What are the advantage and disadvantages

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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