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Some students choose to work or travel after leaving school and before going to university. Many people, however, say that working experience is more useful in adult life than travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some students choose to work or travel after leaving school and before going to university. Many people, however, say that working experience is more useful in adult life than travel. QKON9
It is believed among some students that taking a free year before university to travel is less beneficial than gaining working experience. From my perspective, establishing new connections and interacting with different cultures can be more valuable. The vast majority of teenagers and young adults live inside a small social dome with friends and family. However, success in life can be achieved only with the help of other people, especially in the era of globalisation. Visiting new countries can improve social networking skills and create new connections which can be an enormous advantage for a future career. The more people you know, the more assets for success you have. Every country in the world has its own culture. Each one of them can add additional perspective and ideas on how to handle career or what to do in the future. In addition to that you can observe people in different life conditions: poor or rich, healthy or ill, religious or atheistic. Without that knowledge it can be hard to choose a path in life. It can even change the decision of university or profession. Traveling around the world can be lifechanging and devoting a year to get this experience is beneficial and can create new opportunities for the future.
It
is believed
among
some
students that taking a free year
before
university to travel is less beneficial than gaining working experience. From my perspective, establishing
new
connections and interacting with
different
cultures can be more valuable.

The vast majority of
teenagers
and young adults
live
inside a
small
social dome with friends and family.
However
, success in life can
be achieved
only
with the
help
of other
people
,
especially
in the era of
globalisation
. Visiting
new
countries can
improve
social networking
skills
and create
new
connections which can be an enormous advantage for a future career. The more
people
you know, the more assets for success you have.

Every country in the world has its
own
culture. Each one of them can
add
additional perspective and
ideas
on how to handle career or what to do in the future.
In addition
to that you can observe
people
in
different
life conditions: poor or rich, healthy or ill, religious or atheistic. Without that knowledge it can be
hard
to choose a path in life. It can even
change
the decision of university or profession.

Traveling around the world can be
lifechanging
and devoting a year to
get
this experience is beneficial and can create
new
opportunities for the future.
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IELTS essay Some students choose to work or travel after leaving school and before going to university. Many people, however, say that working experience is more useful in adult life than travel.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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