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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

: Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? 5JJp
Several species of creatures are almost no longer with us and a great number of various creatures experienced the same circumstance near the hand. This essay will discuss the factors that led to these issues and process possible method's government can deal with it. There are number of issues related to extinction. Firstly, every species have their own habitat to live. Mankind took their habitats unauthorized and construct houses furthermore cut the trees illegally it causes them to come to the road and starving for foods unfortunately it ends up with meet up with accidents. Secondly number of individuals add plastic and non - perishable goods to environment as a consequence of this innocent animals will die and we lost a rare and valuable species from our nation. Thirdly poaching rare species for taking their far, teeth and tusk and sell in the black market. Moreover, to the problem England researchers analyzed that 50% haunters were haunting animals as a sport or food over a period. In order to assemble conservation, government need to introduce new laws against constructors to build construction in an animal nonexistent location it assists animals to live their habitat independently. In addition to this government needs to levy high tariffs on individuals who place garbage everywhere as well as we can re -educate teenagers about the principal of bio- diversity. As the assist of the school, colleges we can plant trillions of trees and farmers can reduce the pesticides and fertilizers to save the animals. Furthermore, for a fairly prime example is environmentalist said that recycling and sustainable products assist to live animals more. In conclusion, extinction of rare species have been a major issue in every country nowadays. it is therefore government essential to take immediate action to above dilemma to protect animals.
Several species of creatures are almost no longer with us and a great number of various creatures experienced the same circumstance near the hand.

This essay will discuss the factors that led to these issues and process possible method's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can deal with it.

There are number of issues related to extinction.
Firstly
, every species have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
habitat to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Mankind took their habitats unauthorized and construct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
furthermore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the trees
illegally
it causes them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the road and starving for foods unfortunately it ends up with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up with accidents.
Secondly
number of individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
plastic and non
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
perishable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to environment as a consequence of this innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
will
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
die and
we lost a rare and valuable species from our nation.
Thirdly
poaching rare species for taking their far, teeth and tusk and sell in the black market.

Moreover
, to the problem England researchers analyzed that 50% haunters were haunting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as a sport or food over a period.

In order to assemble conservation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
need to introduce new laws against constructors to build construction in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
nonexistent location it assists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their habitat
independently
.
In addition
to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
needs to levy high tariffs on individuals who place garbage everywhere
as well
as we can re -educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
about the principal of bio- diversity. As the assist of the school, colleges we can plant trillions of trees and farmers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pesticides and fertilizers to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Furthermore
, for a
fairly
prime example is environmentalist said that recycling and sustainable products assist to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
more.

In conclusion
, extinction of rare species have been a major issue in every country nowadays.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
essential to take immediate action to above dilemma to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
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Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay : Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
299 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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