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Some sociologists say that, it is a waste of time for students to pursue secondary education for 12 years. It is better to shorten it to nine years only, then go to vocational school to learn a skill applied in their jobs or go to university to get a degree. To what extent do you agree with this? State your views and reasons. You should write between 300 and 350 words.

Some sociologists say that, it is a waste of time for students to pursue secondary education for 12 years. It is better to shorten it to nine years only, then go to vocational school to learn a skill applied in their jobs or go to university to get a degree. State your views and reasons. You should write between 300 and 350 words. p5y2D
According to some sociologists, pupils pursuing education for 12 years is a waste of time. It is preferable to reduce it to nine years and then attend vocational school to learn a skill that can be used to their work or university to obtain a degree. Personally, I think it is better for students to fully-finish their 12-year studying course. This essay will illustrate the reasons why the young should finish the secondary education for 12 years. To embark with, a 12-year-course is a curriculum which is planned well by the professors. The curriculum is well-arranged for students to collect the knowledge from class to class. For example, a unit of information learnt at junior school which usually comes as basic or common knowledge, and will be digged in deeper in high school. If it was shortened to 9 years, students would be overwhelming by the overloaded information. Moreover, lessons are now filled with practical application so it is important to study them. Furthermore, applying to an university to obtain a degree requires students having finished the innovative curriculum. They must finish the high school education to ensure that they have fulfiled enough background knowledge to dive in further knowledge. Dropout students, for instance, have little opportunities to obtain high-paying jobs since innovative curriculum requires them to complete high school before enrolling in colleges. Individuals, it appears, profitting not just from a twelve-year education, but also from human growth. In conclusion, each individual suits different kind of studying curriculum but it is better to finish a twelve-year education to have a brighter future.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sociologists, pupils pursuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for 12 years is a waste of time. It is preferable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it to nine years and then attend vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to learn a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to their work or university to obtain a degree.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
fully
-finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
12-year
studying course. This essay will illustrate the reasons why the young should finish the secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for 12 years.

To embark with, a 12-year-course is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curriculum
which
is planned
well by the professors. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curriculum
is well-arranged for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to collect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
For example
, a unit of information
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt at
junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
which
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
as basic or common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, and will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
digged
in deeper in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. If it
was shortened
to 9 years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would be overwhelming by the overloaded information.
Moreover
, lessons are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
filled with practical application
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to study them.

Furthermore
, applying to
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
university to obtain a degree requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
having finished the innovative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curriculum
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
finish the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to ensure that they have
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "fulfilled", the past tense form of the verb 'fulfil'?
fulfiled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
background
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to dive in
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. Dropout
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
for instance
, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
opportunities to obtain high-paying jobs since innovative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curriculum
requires them to complete high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
enrolling in colleges. Individuals, it appears,
Possible spelling mistake found.
profitting
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
from a twelve-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
from human growth.

In conclusion
, each individual suits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curriculum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is better to finish a twelve-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to have a brighter future.
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IELTS essay Some sociologists say that, it is a waste of time for students to pursue secondary education for 12 years. It is better to shorten it to nine years only, then go to vocational school to learn a skill applied in their jobs or go to university to get a degree. State your views and reasons. You should write between 300 and 350 words.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • Some sociologists say that, it is a waste of time for students to pursue secondary education for 12 years. It is better to shorten it to nine years only, then go to vocational school to learn a skill applied in their jobs or go to university to get a degree. To what extent do you agree with this? State your views and reasons. You should write between 300 and 350 words.