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Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with trade, health and education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with trade, health and education. 7R26
Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. Some say that the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. In my opinion, the aid of wealthy countries is imperative to fight poverty in developing nations. Today’s world has been divided into developing and industrialised countries which the main difference between them is the amount of money that governments apply in important sectors such as education, health and commerce. Most of the poorer nations are buried in debts as a result of their unbalanced finances which are reflect in a failed health care, an unstructured education system and a weak international trade. This vicious cycle will continue indefinitely unless wealthier nations show interest in minimizing the worldwide economic differences, as well as taking more responsibility for assisting less fortunate countries.
Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should take more responsibility for helping the poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in such areas. In my opinion, the aid of wealthy countries is imperative to fight poverty in developing nations.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s world has
been divided
into developing and
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialised' is British English.
industrialised
countries which the main difference between them is the amount of money that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
apply in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sectors such as education, health and commerce. Most of the poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are buried
in debts
as a result
of their unbalanced finances which are
Consider using a past participle here: "reflected".
reflect
in a failed health care, an unstructured education system and a weak international trade. This vicious cycle will continue
indefinitely
unless wealthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
interest in minimizing the worldwide economic differences,
as well
as taking more responsibility for assisting less fortunate countries.

IELTS essay Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with trade, health and education.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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