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Some say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their spare time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their spare time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. qVLRw
Childrens are the tender buds of the society and their required to be taught moral values of the world. some folks argue that guidance how to motivate to the kid that they should take participate in team activities in their leisure time however, other pondered that it is Paramount for children that to learn how to pick up by the own without taking aid from anybody. This essay will analyse both this side and reason of my implementation are articulated in logical conclusion. On the one hand, it is often argued that, children should take part in team activities owning to in that without any adversity kids can easily acquire multiple of knowledge. Also, get opportunity to obtain new skills as well as share ideas in the team persons and if children face any laborious aur any mistake in the ideas or point of view taken clarify in team program. Not only offspring Isa then knowledge in group activities but also if something topic comes across while discussion in group program and that topic face children in their life in future then it will be get a adequate benefit to the offspring. To epitome, in New Zealand, twice in a month every schools as well as varsity conduct team program and pupils also, take part in it. On the other hand, some advocate that school court should be learnt by own and it is very crucial role because whenever offspring thing or provide parent pressure by parent about their future that can be provided that what they should do in their own life so whatever children thought or they have any e interest in any field there should be no restriction by Guidance so, this is the reason that give some time to offspring to think about their upcoming days. Despite having plethora of burden about studies, permit some time to take determine by themselves. For instance, in Canada more than 80% of parents give first priority to the offspring future and grant some time to children. In conclusion, weighing both side conclude that although to spend time of children by own it is an good idea in some cases, obtain knowledge and participate in team work program is essential because in that stage a human being become more and more knowledge and convenient.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Childrens
are the tender buds of the society and their required to
be taught
moral values of the world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
folks argue that guidance how to motivate to the kid that they should take participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
activities in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
however
, other pondered that it is Paramount for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that to learn how to pick up by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
without taking aid from anybody. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both this side and reason of my implementation
are articulated
in logical conclusion.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
activities owning to in that without any adversity kids can
easily
acquire multiple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunity to obtain new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
as share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
persons and if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
face any laborious
Possible spelling mistake found.
aur
any mistake in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
or point of view taken clarify in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offspring
Possible spelling mistake found.
Isa
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in group activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
if something topic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
across while discussion in group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
and that topic face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in their life in future then it will be
Consider using a past participle here: "got", "gotten".
get
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
adequate benefit to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offspring
. To epitome, in New Zealand, twice in a month every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "school"?
schools
as well
as varsity conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
and pupils
also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in it.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advocate that school court should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial role
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
whenever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offspring
thing or provide parent pressure by parent about their future that can
be provided
that what they should do in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
thought or
they have any e interest in any field there should be no restriction by Guidance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, this is the reason that give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offspring
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their upcoming days. Despite having plethora of burden about studies, permit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to take determine by themselves.
For instance
, in Canada more than 80% of parents give
first
priority to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offspring
future and grant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to children.

In conclusion
, weighing both side conclude that although to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
it is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
is essential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in that stage a human
being become
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and convenient.
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IELTS essay Some say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their spare time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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