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Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages? d7Yr
Although working at home is thought by a number of people to be more beneficial for workers, other people think that it can be detrimental. In my opinion, I consider that, freelance working can bring more advantages for white-collars compared to any problems it might bring. On the one hand, despite the some drawbacks below, I believe the benefits of working at home extremely useful for their development in the future. Firstly, white-collars can do not waste their crucial time on the traffics. In other words, majority of white-collar workers are working in cosmopolitan and crowded cities which has got fatal traffics problems such as Istanbul and Izmir. Because of that, they are enabling to use their time effectively such as reskilling and gaining new hobbies. Secondly, they can improve their mental health as working from home due to the fact that there are no manager and pressure around them. In fact, according to some research, working at home or as freelancer increase peoples creative skill significantly. So, more and more designer and architect prefer to work as home office style. On the other hand, admittedly, there are some issues that employees face. One potentially dangerous problem is that lots of people are not able to manage their time on their own. Furthermore, they can lie to their boss or customers. For instance, there is a dead line in a critic project but a careless worker about the time management could lie about the situation of project. That can cause lots of problem in relationship with bosses and workers. Thus, bosses think that money does not grow on trees, and they prefer to fire those workers. Another possible issue when people work at home is that they sometimes cannot receive their payment regularly. Consequently, they face some problems to balance finance. In conclusion, working from home will stand workers in good stead in the future and clearly those benefits far outweigh any minor drawbacks.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it can be detrimental. In my opinion, I consider that, freelance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
can bring more advantages for white-collars compared to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
it might bring.

On the one hand, despite the
Did you mean "same"?
some
drawbacks below, I believe the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home
extremely
useful for their development in the future.
Firstly
, white-collars can do not waste their crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the traffics.
In other words
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
white-collar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in cosmopolitan and crowded cities which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
fatal traffics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as Istanbul and Izmir.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, they are enabling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
effectively
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
reskilling
and gaining new hobbies.
Secondly
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their mental health as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home due to the fact that there are no manager and pressure around them. In fact, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home or as freelancer increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
significantly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, more and more designer and architect prefer to work as home office style.

On the other hand
,
admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues that employees face. One
potentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Furthermore
, they can lie to their boss or customers.
For instance
, there is a dead line in a critic project
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a careless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management could lie about the situation of project. That can cause lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in relationship with bosses and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
.
Thus
, bosses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that money does not grow on trees, and they prefer to fire those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. Another possible issue when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work at home is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
cannot receive their payment
regularly
.
Consequently
, they face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
to balance finance.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home will stand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stead in the future and
clearly
those benefits far outweigh any minor drawbacks.
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IELTS essay Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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