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Youth drug abuse is a serous problem. What are the possible causes of this behavior? Do you have any suggestion to control that

Youth drug abuse is a serous problem. What are the possible causes of this behavior? Do you have any suggestion to control that WAKD
In recent years, Youth drug abuse has become a serious problem in many countries, both rich and poor, across the world. Not only the illegal drug use is no the rise, but children as young as 10 years old are also experimenting with alcohol and tobacco and other forms of available drugs. The effects of drug abuse are well known. Many young talents are wasted, and prolonged addiction to hard drugs can cost a user his or her life. Suggesting remedies for youth drug abuse requires a clear understanding of the underlying reasons. The reasons for this irresonable behavior among the youth are unclear, but many sociologists blame the examples set by their elders. Firstly, parents who drink and smoke are, in effect, telling their children that it is a socially acceptable behavior. Consequently, children may have a similar view towards illegal drugs, even if their parents are against their use. In addition, drug use shown on television, films, magazines and public displays can only attract children, if not confuse them about the serious health-hazards that are associated with drug abuse. From another perspective, the pressure on young people to perform well at schools and other competetive platforms is a possible cause of the problem. Many believe they cannot live up to their parents’ expectations, and feel a sense of hopelessness and frustration. Scientists have established a relation between drug use and stress, frustration, lack of clear goal. Drugs are used as a means of expressing dissatisfaction with the pressures that they face in society. Also, the widespread availability of drugs means teenagers are often encountered by the temptation to experiment. To suggest, I recommend to educate young people about the dangers of drug use, and to take steps to reduce the pressure of competition placed upon them. Any tempting public display of smoking or drug use shown on television, films, magazines, and displays should be banned. Moreover restricting drug availability by guarding illegal drug￾trafficking and retailing will also bring positive result. In the conclusion it can be said that solution to youth drug abuse problems actually lie in the root causes and identifying the causes would make it convenient to control the use.
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
has become a serious problem in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, both rich and poor, across the world. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
the rise,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
as 10 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
are
also
experimenting with alcohol and tobacco and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
other


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
forms
of available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
. The effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
are well known.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
talents
are wasted
, and prolonged addiction to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
can cost a user
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
life.

Suggesting remedies for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
requires a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
understanding of the underlying reasons. The reasons for this
Possible spelling mistake found.
irresonable
behavior among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
are unclear,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sociologists blame the examples set by their elders.
Firstly
, parents who drink and smoke

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
are
, in effect, telling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that it is a
socially
acceptable behavior.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may have a similar view towards illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
, even if their parents are against

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
shown on television, films, magazines and public displays can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, if not confuse them about the serious health-hazards that
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
are


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
associated
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
abuse.

From another perspective, the pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to perform well at schools and other
Possible spelling mistake found.
competetive
platforms is a possible cause of the problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
they


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
up to their parents’ expectations, and feel a sense of hopelessness and frustration. Scientists have established a relation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, frustration, lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
goal.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drugs
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a means of expressing dissatisfaction with the pressures that they face in society.
Also
, the widespread availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
encountered by the temptation to experiment.

To suggest, I
The verb 'recommend' is used with the gerund form: "recommend educating".
recommend to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, and to take steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pressure of competition placed upon them. Any tempting
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
public


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
display
of smoking or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
shown on television, films, magazines, and displays should
be banned
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
restricting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
availability by guarding illegal
Possible spelling mistake found.
drug￾trafficking
and retailing will
also
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
result.

In the conclusion it can
be said
that solution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
problems actually lie in the root causes and identifying the causes would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it convenient to control the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
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IELTS essay Youth drug abuse is a serous problem. What are the possible causes of this behavior? Do you have any suggestion to control that

Essay
  American English
11 paragraphs
364 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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