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some phychologists think that the best way to overcome stress of everyday life is to spend a portion of the day doing absolutely nothing. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

some phychologists think that the best way to overcome stress of everyday life is to spend a portion of the day doing absolutely nothing. xmOPN
In today’s epoch, world is suffering from many burning issues where crime is not exception which increasing drastically. Some people think that, TV shows and novels are portraying more about crime drama than other useful information where I believe, it serves awareness as well as leaves some adverse impact over society and culture. To initiate with, most of the people get information and knowledge through communication channels: TV, magazines, books, newspapers, novels. On recent survey, these communication channels deliver more crime fiction as people are fascinating in drama which include violence: robbery, kidnapping, and murder. Sometimes, not only people do watch such a fiction or news to entertain but also for awareness as they want to know about current scenarios of society. For an instance, chain snatching is biggest issue in some states of India hence, by watching news or articles people could aware. Furthermore, by influencing from such a fiction, people commit crime which is harmful and dangerous to society. To illustrate, recently in Punjab, a boy killed a girl because he was influence by web series named as Mirzapur - which has demonstrated same scenes. However, to curtail this crime ratio, communication channels have to show a fiction or news through which people can aware, educate, and eventually society’s behaviour can change. Also, people could be aware from harmful and negative effects of the crime. On basis of one survey, child delinquency has decreased 20% in last 5 years. To conclude, TV shows, books, and novels have power to influence and aware people towards better culture in society therefore, good contents, awareness and positive messages are equally prominent.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s epoch, world is suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
burning issues where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is not exception which increasing
drastically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and novels are portraying more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
drama than other useful information where I believe, it serves awareness
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse impact over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and culture.

To initiate with, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information and knowledge through communication channels: TV, magazines, books, newspapers, novels. On recent survey, these communication channels deliver more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fiction
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are fascinating in drama which include violence: robbery, kidnapping, and murder.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fiction
or news to entertain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for awareness as they want to know about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenarios of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. For an instance, chain snatching is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
issue in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
states of India
hence
, by watching news or articles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could aware.

Furthermore
, by influencing from such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fiction
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
which is harmful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. To illustrate, recently in Punjab, a boy killed a girl
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he was influence by web series named as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mirzapur
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
which has demonstrated same scenes.

However
, to curtail this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
ratio, communication channels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fiction
or news through which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can aware, educate, and
eventually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could be aware from harmful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. On basis of one survey, child delinquency has decreased 20% in last 5 years.

To conclude
, TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, books, and novels have power to influence and aware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards better culture in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
contents, awareness and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
messages are
equally
prominent.
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IELTS essay some phychologists think that the best way to overcome stress of everyday life is to spend a portion of the day doing absolutely nothing.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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