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Some peopre believe fomous peop,e's supporf fowords lnlernolionol oid organizoiions drows fhe oflenlions lo problems, whereos ofhers fhink celebrifies moke the problems less importonf. Discuss bofh sides ond give Your oPinion.

Some peopre believe fomous peop, e's supporf fowords lnlernolionol oid organizoiions drows fhe oflenlions lo problems, whereos ofhers fhink celebrifies moke the problems less importonf. Discuss bofh sides ond give Your oPinion. n2nP
charity organizations are responsible for aiding the needy and taking care of the victims of natural disasters. Some individuals are of the opinion that if celebrities provide assistance to global charity organisations, people become more attentive towards these issues, whereas others believe that celebs can lessen the severity of the situation. This essay intends to delve into both perspectives' l, however, side with the former view. It is irrefutable that international charity groups can get publicity through celebrities' Famous singers' movie stars and sports professionals can endorse the activities or campaigns of international charity organisations. lf the stars advocate for charitable organizations, these charities attract more people to participate. Stars enhance the reputation and credibility of the charities' Furthermore, when celebrities are called upon for helping NPos (Non-Profit organisations) or charities, they themselves become aware ofthese problems, and themselves too come forward in donating for such causes. Their selfless donation could fulfil their social responsibilities towards the have-nots and consequently bring their own self a great sense of satisfaction' on the other hand, it cannot be denied that in some instances, celebrities can cause more harm than good because of their bad reputation. For example, some celebs take part in charity work. lust to improve their image. This can make the messenger (celeb), more important than the message. For example, if some stars are doing publicity for the anti-drug organization, but they themselves have their own history of drug use or crime, then obviously the public would look at that charity with suspicion. Secondly, sometimes, when the famous people are seen working for some charity then people start thinking that enough is already being done, and that their help is not needed. This can be detrimental in the long run. To summarise, international aid organizations can attract more citizens' attention on problems if celebrities give the right support and set up good images. I believe that all famous people should do their utmost to iulfill their social obligations, to do some public service activities for those charity organizations, which can be an effective way to serve this purpose.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
are responsible for aiding the needy and taking care of the victims of natural

disasters.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals are of the opinion that if celebrities provide assistance to global charity

Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisations
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more attentive towards these issues, whereas others believe that celebs can

lessen the severity of the situation. This essay intends to delve into both perspectives' l,
however
, side with

the former view.

It is irrefutable that international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
groups can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
publicity through celebrities'
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Famous
singers'

movie stars and sports professionals can endorse the activities or campaigns of international charity

Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisations
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lf
the stars advocate for charitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to

participate. Stars enhance the reputation and credibility of the charities'

Furthermore
, when celebrities
are called
upon for helping
Possible spelling mistake found.
NPos
(Non-Profit
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisations
) or charities,

they themselves become aware
Possible spelling mistake found.
ofthese
problems, and themselves too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward in donating for such

causes. Their selfless donation could fulfil their social responsibilities towards the
Possible spelling mistake found.
have-nots
and

consequently
bring their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
self a great sense of satisfaction'

on the other hand
, it cannot
be denied
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
instances, celebrities can cause more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
reputation.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
celebs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
work.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lust
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their

image. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the messenger (celeb), more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than the message.
For example
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stars

are doing publicity for the anti-drug
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they themselves have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
history of drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use


or crime, then
obviously
the public would look at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
with suspicion.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, when

the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
working for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
thinking that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
is already

being done
, and that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
is not needed. This can be detrimental in the long run.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, international aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
can attract more citizens' attention on problems if celebrities

give the right support and set up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
images. I believe that all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do their utmost to

Possible spelling mistake found.
iulfill
their social obligations, to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
public service activities for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
, which can

be an effective way to serve this purpose.

IELTS essay Some peopre believe fomous peop, e's supporf fowords lnlernolionol oid organizoiions drows fhe oflenlions lo problems, whereos ofhers fhink celebrifies moke the problems less importonf. Discuss bofh sides ond give Your oPinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Some peopre believe fomous peop,e's supporf fowords lnlernolionol oid organizoiions drows fhe oflenlions lo problems, whereos ofhers fhink celebrifies moke the problems less importonf. Discuss bofh sides ond give Your oPinion.