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long working hours compare to leisure time

long working hours compare to leisure time PKwd
Time should be used judiciously to take the proper benefit of it. Nowadays, the duration of work hours is increased leaving very little time for social activities. I am in consummate accord with the statement. This essay will explain the demerits of the notion in the upcoming paragraphs. Due to spending more time at the office, , the work-life balance gets disturbed. The predominant justification in support of the viewpoint is that when you are occupied with the meeting the whole day, it is not possible to go home early to give attention to the family. For example, many people are in the traveling job because of which they had to be out of the house all time, there is no one to look after the elderly parents. Therefore, it totally hampers your personal environment. Furthermore, there is also a rise in health issues at young age the reason behind it is this only. Many people suffer from depression as they lose touch with their social circle where they can discuss the ups and downs of life. For instance, the age group from 25 to 35 years suffer from more illness than their parents being more stressed. However, there are few benefits like you get a promotion, earning more money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
judiciously
to take the proper benefit of it. Nowadays, the duration of work hours
is increased
leaving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for social activities. I am in consummate accord with the statement. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the demerits of the notion in the upcoming paragraphs.

Due to spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at the office,
Two consecutive commas
,
the work-life balance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
disturbed. The predominant justification in support of the viewpoint is that when you
are occupied
with the meeting the whole day, it is not possible to go home early to give attention to the family.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in the traveling job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which they had to be out of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, there is no one to look after the elderly parents.
Therefore
, it
totally
hampers your personal environment.

Furthermore
, there is
also
a rise in health issues at young age the reason behind it is this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer from depression as they lose touch with their social circle where they can discuss the ups and downs of life.
For instance
, the age group from 25 to 35 years suffer from more illness than their parents being more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
.

However
, there are few benefits like you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a promotion, earning more money.

IELTS essay long working hours compare to leisure time

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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