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SOME PEOPLE WORK FOR THE SAME ORGANISATION ALL THEIR WORKING LIFE. OTHERS THINK THAT IT IS BETTER TO WORK FOR DIFFERENT ORGANISATIONS.

SOME PEOPLE WORK FOR THE SAME ORGANISATION ALL THEIR WORKING LIFE. OTHERS THINK THAT IT IS BETTER TO WORK FOR DIFFERENT ORGANISATIONS. NVeaW
NOWADAYS, THE MODERN TECHNOLOGY AND THOUGHT PROCESS HAVE BEEN CONTINUOUSLY DEVELOPED AND INVENTED TO APPROPRIATE FOR PROGRESS OF THE WORLD THAT PROVIDE PEOPLE HAVE MORE CHOICES TO CHOOSE THE OPPORTUNITIES AND EMPLOYMENTS. FROM THE RESULT OF THIS DEVELOPMENT HAVE MANY VIEWPOINT THAT PEOPLE SHOULD CONCERN FOR CHOOSE THE WORK PATH. PEOPLE’ BEHAVIOR, IN THE PAST WERE INCLINED TOWARDS WORKING IN THE SAME ORGANISATION FOR THEIR ENTIRE LIFE. TODAY, DIFFERENT INDIVIDUALS HAVE A VARIED OPINION ABOUT THE WORK OPTIONS. SOME PEOPLE PREFER WORKING FOR THE SAME COMPANY ALL OF THEIR LIFE, WHILE OTHERS BELIEVE IN SWITCHING THEIR COMPANIES. IN MY POINT OF VIEW, THERE ARE MANY REASONS AND FACTORS IN TWO WAYS OF WORKING LIFE WHICH ARE CERTAINLY SOME BENEFITS TO WORKING AT SAME JOB WITH THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE WHO STAY LOYAL TO THE COMPANY HAVE BEEN PROMOTED TO HIGHER POSITIONS. THIS IS PARTICULARLY TRUE IN THIS SECTORS THAT THE VALUABLE EXPERIENCE. ALSO, BY WORKING IN THE SAME COMPANY THEY CAN CREATE A COMFORT ZONE AROUND THEM. ON THE OTHER HAND, THERE ARE MANY MORE BENEFITS TO CHANGING NEW CAREERS TO GET NEW OPPORTUNITIES FOR THEMSELVES AND THE BIGGEST BENEFIT IS THE OPPORTUNITY TO ACQUIRE DIVERSE EXPERIENCES. WHEN THEY HAVE BEEN EMPLOYED THE JOB, IT IS NOT ALWAYS POSSIBLE FOR THEY WILL ENJOY IT OR NOT. PROVIDE THAT, AFTER WORKING AT THE COMPANY FOR ONE OR TWO YEARS, THEY DISCOVER THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT JOB FOR THEM, IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO RESIGN AND FIND ANOTHER OCCUPATIONS. IN SHORT, BOTH OF WORKING PATHS WHICH ARE LONG STAY EMPLOYEES AND SHORT-TERM WORKER TO CHANGE TO MANY COMPANIES ARE OFFER DIFFERENT VARIOUS BENEFITS AND OPPORTUNITIES FOR EMPLOYEES WHICH THEY SHOULD CONSIDER AND CAREFULLY CHOOSE THEIR OWN JOBS IT PROPERLY AT THE RIGHT TIME AND AT RIGHT PLACE, THEY WILL GET THE SUCCESS IN THEIR WORKING LIFE.
NOWADAYS, THE MODERN TECHNOLOGY AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THOUGHT
PROCESS HAVE BEEN
CONTINUOUSLY
DEVELOPED AND INVENTED TO APPROPRIATE FOR PROGRESS OF THE WORLD THAT PROVIDE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
HAVE MORE CHOICES TO CHOOSE THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OPPORTUNITIES
AND EMPLOYMENTS. FROM THE RESULT OF THIS DEVELOPMENT HAVE
Possible agreement error. The noun VIEWPOINT seems to be countable; consider using: "MANY viewpoints".
MANY VIEWPOINT
THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
SHOULD CONCERN FOR CHOOSE THE WORK PATH.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
’ BEHAVIOR, IN THE PAST
WERE INCLINED
TOWARDS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORKING
IN THE SAME
Possible spelling mistake. 'ORGANISATION' is British English.
ORGANISATION
FOR THEIR ENTIRE
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LIFE
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
TODAY
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DIFFERENT
INDIVIDUALS HAVE A VARIED OPINION ABOUT THE WORK OPTIONS.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
PREFER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORKING
FOR THE SAME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COMPANY
ALL OF THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
, WHILE OTHERS BELIEVE IN SWITCHING THEIR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COMPANIES
.

IN MY POINT OF VIEW, THERE ARE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
REASONS AND FACTORS IN TWO WAYS OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORKING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
WHICH ARE
CERTAINLY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BENEFITS
TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORKING
AT SAME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
JOB
WITH THE MAJORITY OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
WHO STAY LOYAL TO THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COMPANY
HAVE
BEEN PROMOTED
TO HIGHER POSITIONS. THIS IS
PARTICULARLY
TRUE IN
Did you mean "these"?
THIS
SECTORS THAT THE VALUABLE EXPERIENCE.
ALSO
, BY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORKING
IN THE SAME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COMPANY
THEY CAN CREATE A COMFORT ZONE AROUND THEM.
ON THE OTHER HAND
, THERE ARE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
MORE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BENEFITS
TO CHANGING NEW CAREERS TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GET
NEW
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OPPORTUNITIES
FOR THEMSELVES AND THE BIGGEST
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BENEFIT
IS THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OPPORTUNITY
TO ACQUIRE DIVERSE EXPERIENCES. WHEN THEY HAVE
BEEN EMPLOYED
THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
JOB
, IT IS NOT ALWAYS POSSIBLE FOR THEY WILL ENJOY IT OR NOT. PROVIDE THAT, AFTER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORKING
AT THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COMPANY
FOR ONE OR TWO YEARS, THEY DISCOVER
THAT IS
NOT THE RIGHT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
JOB
FOR THEM, IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO RESIGN AND FIND ANOTHER OCCUPATIONS.

IN SHORT, BOTH OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORKING
PATHS WHICH ARE LONG
Consider using a past participle here: "staid", "stayed".
STAY
EMPLOYEES AND SHORT-TERM WORKER TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CHANGE
TO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COMPANIES
ARE OFFER
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DIFFERENT
VARIOUS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BENEFITS
AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OPPORTUNITIES
FOR EMPLOYEES WHICH THEY SHOULD CONSIDER AND
CAREFULLY
CHOOSE THEIR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
OWN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
JOBS
IT
PROPERLY
AT THE RIGHT TIME AND AT RIGHT PLACE, THEY WILL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GET
THE SUCCESS IN THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORKING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
.
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IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE WORK FOR THE SAME ORGANISATION ALL THEIR WORKING LIFE. OTHERS THINK THAT IT IS BETTER TO WORK FOR DIFFERENT ORGANISATIONS.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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