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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. v. 5
In many countries, there is a huge income disparity among people. This is because some people are earning astronomical salaries. At the same time, there are many more who are struggling to make both ends meet. Some people, therefore, argue that the government should cap salaries. I do not agree with this view. In my opinion, this difference in salary is good for the economy because it encourages people to work harder. If there is a limit to what people can earn, most of them will lose the motivation to work harder. The reason that encourages people to work harder and harder is their yearning to earn higher salaries. Therefore, if the government caps the salaries, it will hurt the morale of employees. Also, having a small number of people who earn too much is not necessarily a bad thing. They act as an inspiration for the poor. These super-wealthy people can also start enterprises that create jobs and improve the living standards of the poor people. Of course, income disparity is not a good thing. It makes the poor feel inadequate. But at the same time, it encourages many of them to work harder and earn more. As human beings, we have a natural tendency to want more. We get inspired by the affluent lifestyle of the rich and want to be like them. This human desire to improve their living standards is the factor that drives all economies. The government can certainly do something to lessen the disparity. For example, it can impose higher taxes on rich people. It can also launch welfare schemes for the poor. By offering free education and health care for people living below the poverty line, the government can put them in a position to work and earn. To conclude, capping salaries is not the solution for income disparity. Instead, the government should empower the poor people and help them earn a good salary by offering them free education and training.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, there is a huge income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disparity
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are earning astronomical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
. At the same time, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more who are struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
both ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
therefore
, argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should cap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view. In my opinion, this difference in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder.

If there is a limit to what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
, most of them will lose the motivation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harder
. The reason that encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harder
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harder
is their yearning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
.
Therefore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
caps the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
, it will hurt the morale of employees.
Also
, having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
too much is not
necessarily
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing. They act as an inspiration for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. These super-wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
enterprises that create jobs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the living standards of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Of course
, income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disparity
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
feel inadequate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
at the same time, it encourages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harder
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
more. As human beings, we have a natural tendency to want more. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
inspired by the affluent lifestyle of the rich and want to be like them. This human desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their living standards is the factor that drives all economies. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
certainly
do something to lessen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disparity
.
For example
, it can impose higher taxes on rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It can
also
launch welfare schemes for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. By offering free education and health care for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living below the poverty line, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can put them in a position to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and earn.

To conclude
, capping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
is not the solution for income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disparity
.
Instead
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should empower the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
by offering them free education and training.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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