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some people try new things but some prefer to do familiar things

some people try new things but some prefer to do familiar things 52RLe
One of the major advantages of globalization is that, many people are earning more and have improved their economic situation. This increase in earnings power, allows them to try new things like visiting different countries, trying variety of dishes and many other things. Though, this is true to some extent, not every one is comfortable trying different things. This essay will discuss about these aspects of people and what factors are contributing to their decision making. Many humans believe that their life is short and they are not going to live forever. So, they like to experience different things before it's too late. This is more true in younger generation, because they are fearless and would love to take risks. For them, doing mundane tasks every day does not make any sense to their life and does not bring excitement. Particularly, for these reason they want to make their life more meaningful and to cherish the memories when they are old, they like to travel new places or countries. Also, to experience different cultures they visit new countries, try their dishes and understand their beliefs. In contrast, some people are lazy and are happy doing same thing repeatedly as they are afraid of failures. These people some times over think and play safe because they does not like to take unnecessary risks in their life. For some people this is because of pressure from their family members. According to me, the world is huge and there are different things to explore in one's life. People should be fearless and try out new things in their life. To conclude, though there might be some difficulties early on when trying new things, every one should explore different aspects of their surroundings and experience them to have a fulfilling life.
One of the major advantages of globalization is that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are earning more and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their economic situation. This increase in earnings power,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things like visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries, trying variety of dishes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other things. Though, this is true to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, not every one is comfortable trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
things. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss these"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about these
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and what factors are contributing to their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
humans believe that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
short and
they are not going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
forever.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they like to experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it's too late.

This is more true in younger generation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are fearless and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
. For them, doing mundane tasks every day does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any sense

to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and does not bring excitement.
Particularly
, for these reason they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more meaningful and to cherish the memories when they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, they like to travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
places or countries.
Also
, to experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures they visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
countries, try their dishes and understand their beliefs.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are lazy and are happy doing same thing
repeatedly
as they are afraid of failures.

These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and play safe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "do"
does
not like to take unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of

pressure from their family members.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, the world is huge and there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
things to explore in one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should be fearless and try out

new things in their life.

To conclude
, though there might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties early on when trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things, every one should explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
aspects of their surroundings and experience

them to have a fulfilling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay some people try new things but some prefer to do familiar things

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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