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some people thinl that government should fund music, dance, and arts lesson

It is argued by many people that music, dance and arts programs should be financed by the government for the learning of children whereas, many others think that it is the responsibility of the parents or local organizations to sponsor these. This essay will discuss, both views and give reasons why funding from government is necessary. There are primary two reasons for the government funding. Firstly, government has more financial means to fund these programs as it has yearly budget for financing these particular programs. For example, in Germany each year more than 45 billion euros are allocated for learning arts and they are spent by way of giving scholarships to the students towards in these subjects. As a result, many learners then become able to represent their culture by way of art, music and dance. Secondly, state funding lessons will be able to promote these subjects on a wider scale. Many students of different countries don’t go for tertiary education as cannot afford the fees and if state pays for it then many students will learn and be able to earn some amount of money. Nevertheless, privately funding is better as teacher and students will have a flexible time schedule and teachers can adopt lessons to suit the individual learner thus more feedback and support is provided. As a result, more students are able to learn and gain knowledge in these fields. In conclusion, government funding is more efficient than private funding because private funding could only be for those who are well off and can finance their studies.

It is argued
 by This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 that music, dance and arts programs should be financed
 by the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpowerministryunionauthoritystaterule
government
 for the learning of children whereas, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 others This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonassumebelieveconsider
think
 that it is the responsibility of the parents or local organizations to sponsor these. This essay will discuss, both views and give reasons why You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbackingmoneyfinancingcash
funding
 from You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpowerministryunionauthoritystaterule
government
 is necessary.

There are primary two reasons for the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpowerministryunionauthoritystaterule
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbackingmoneyfinancingcash
funding
. Firstly
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpowerministryunionauthoritystaterule
government
 has more financial means to fund these programs as it has yearly budget for financing these particular programs. For example
, in Germany each year more than 45 billion euros are allocated
 for learning Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).arts, and
arts and
 they are spent
 by way of giving scholarships to the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withundergraduatescholarpupiljuniorgraduate
students
 towards in these subjects. As a result
, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 learners then become You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgoodadeptcapableaptcompetenteasy
able
 to represent their culture by way of art, music and dance. Secondly
, state You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbackingmoneyfinancingcash
funding
 lessons will be You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgoodadeptcapableaptcompetenteasy
able
 to promote these subjects on a wider scale. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withundergraduatescholarpupiljuniorgraduate
students
 of This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:various
different
 countries don’t go for tertiary education as cannot afford the fees and if state pays for it then This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withundergraduatescholarpupiljuniorgraduate
students
 will learn and be You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgoodadeptcapableaptcompetenteasy
able
 to earn This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 amount of money.

Nevertheless
, privately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbackingmoneyfinancingcash
funding
 is better Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.than
as
 teacher and You use this word too often, consider replacing it withundergraduatescholarpupiljuniorgraduate
students
 will have a flexible time schedule and teachers can adopt lessons to suit the individual learner thus
 more feedback and support is provided
. As a result
, more You use this word too often, consider replacing it withundergraduatescholarpupiljuniorgraduate
students
 are You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgoodadeptcapableaptcompetenteasy
able
 to learn and gain knowledge in these fields.

In conclusion
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpowerministryunionauthoritystaterule
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbackingmoneyfinancingcash
funding
 is more efficient than private You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbackingmoneyfinancingcash
funding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 private You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbackingmoneyfinancingcash
funding
 could This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 be for those who are well off and can finance their studies. 