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some people think the university should admit boys and girls with equality of opportunity in all courses. In my opinion, the university is an elitism environment and needs to choose the best ones to do research and have a high quality of performance. So, I disagree to focus on election basis on gender. The committee must select C.V that has merits. In other words, they should assess pupil's application according to research interest, educational experience, effort, and ability. But, any selection despite mentioned factors causes feeble efficiency in the long term. It is the reason that top universities around the world try to give admission after a survey accurately. On the other hand, differentiation base on sexuality considerably decrease motivation and hope between graduates. This method would inspire depression on students who had planned to enter. For example, imagine there is 5 position for girls and as the same for boys. But we have 7 excellent application from boys, 3 top-le

some people think the university should admit boys and girls with equality of opportunity in all courses. In my opinion, the university is an elitism environment and needs to choose the best ones to do research and have a high quality of performance. So, I disagree to focus on election basis on gender. The committee must select C. V that has merits. In other words, they should assess pupil's application according to research interest, educational experience, effort, and ability. But, any selection despite mentioned factors causes feeble efficiency in the long term. It is the reason that top universities around the world try to give admission after a survey accurately. On the other hand, differentiation base on sexuality considerably decrease motivation and hope between graduates. This method would inspire depression on students who had planned to enter. For example, imagine there is 5 position for girls and as the same for boys. But we have 7 excellent application from boys, 3 top-le YLEOn
some people think the university should admit boys and girls with equality of opportunity in all courses. In my opinion, the university is an elitism environment and needs to choose the best ones to do research and have a high quality of performance. So, I disagree to focus on election basis on gender. The committee must select C. V that has merits. In other words, they should assess pupil's application according to research interest, educational experience, effort, and ability. But, any selection despite mentioned factors causes feeble efficiency in the long term. It is the reason that top universities around the world try to give admission after a survey accurately. On the other hand, differentiation base on sexuality considerably decrease motivation and hope between graduates. This method would inspire depression on students who had planned to enter. For example, imagine there is 5 position for girls and as the same for boys. But we have 7 excellent application from boys, 3 top-level, and 2week record from girls. Committee must ignore 2 male and replace 2 girl who own lower level C. V. so that this rule directly impacts on academic level. On the other view, neuroscience researches have demonstrated brain works different in men in compare to women. In the other hand, two system that are not similar and think by separated methods are able to produce novelty issues. They could be completed with each other or blend their feature. In conclusion, Scientific society should have a logical strategy to provide incentive for top students. Finally, it result to boost training and investment.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the university should admit boys and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
with equality of opportunity in all courses. In my opinion, the university is an elitism environment and needs to choose the best ones to do research and have a high quality of performance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I disagree to focus on election basis on gender.

The committee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
select C. V that has merits. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they should assess pupil's application according to research interest, educational experience, effort, and ability.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, any selection despite mentioned factors causes feeble efficiency in the long term. It is the reason that top universities around the world try to give admission after a survey
accurately
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, differentiation base on sexuality
considerably
decrease motivation and hope between graduates. This method would inspire depression on students who had planned to enter.

For example
, imagine there is 5 position for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and as the same for boys.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we have 7 excellent application from boys, 3 top-level, and 2week record from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. Committee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
2 male and replace 2
Possible agreement error. The noun 'girl' seems to be countable, so consider using: "girls".
girl
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
lower level C. V.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
directly
impacts on academic level.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
view, neuroscience researches have demonstrated brain works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in compare to women. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, two system that are not similar and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
by separated methods are able to produce novelty issues. They could
be completed
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
or blend their feature.

In conclusion
, Scientific society should have a logical strategy to provide incentive for top students.
Finally
, it
Did you mean "results"?
result
to boost training and investment.
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IELTS essay some people think the university should admit boys and girls with equality of opportunity in all courses. In my opinion, the university is an elitism environment and needs to choose the best ones to do research and have a high quality of performance. So, I disagree to focus on election basis on gender. The committee must select C. V that has merits. In other words, they should assess pupil's application according to research interest, educational experience, effort, and ability. But, any selection despite mentioned factors causes feeble efficiency in the long term. It is the reason that top universities around the world try to give admission after a survey accurately. On the other hand, differentiation base on sexuality considerably decrease motivation and hope between graduates. This method would inspire depression on students who had planned to enter. For example, imagine there is 5 position for girls and as the same for boys. But we have 7 excellent application from boys, 3 top-le

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • some people think the university should admit boys and girls with equality of opportunity in all courses. In my opinion, the university is an elitism environment and needs to choose the best ones to do research and have a high quality of performance. So, I disagree to focus on election basis on gender. The committee must select C.V that has merits. In other words, they should assess pupil's application according to research interest, educational experience, effort, and ability. But, any selection despite mentioned factors causes feeble efficiency in the long term. It is the reason that top universities around the world try to give admission after a survey accurately. On the other hand, differentiation base on sexuality considerably decrease motivation and hope between graduates. This method would inspire depression on students who had planned to enter. For example, imagine there is 5 position for girls and as the same for boys. But we have 7 excellent application from boys, 3 top-le