Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic,social and commercial perspectives. What measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What measures should be taken to reduce these pressures? MMWJo
In modern era, academic, social and commercial task becoming daunting for pupils due to number of reasons and certain steps can be taken to solve the above phenomenon. there are plethora of pressures regarding academic on children. To begin with, competition between students are increasing dramatically not within nation but all over globe. As a result, parents are pushing their children to excel in every field. Moreover, they send their child into best school, where the bags are heavier than the children himself. Even after school hours there are private institutes. Pupils do not have time to fulfill their dreams and bring out their hidden talent. There are few social pressure that effect juveniles life. First, today children in huge dilemma. They want to adopt global culture but their parents force them to fellow their traditions. For instance, family in India, fellow their culture instead of western and even they learn their children from small age to fellow own culture. Apart from that, learners also face peer pressure, which is good only if peers are good. Most of the time children lured when they see smart phone in peers hands and they also wants to buy them. When they are unable to do so, they get stressed. The solutions are not simple. Children have to handled with great care. Parents should not force them to success in every stream but they fulfill their dreams, where they can find their hidden talent. What is more, parents shall give permission to fellow global culture, so they learn and respect particular culture or tradition. Children have to be taught to win with modesty and lose with grace. To encapsulate, I reiterate my opinion that, pupils are facing lot of pressure from different field due a number of reasons and solutions can be taken to tackle the problem.
In modern era, academic, social and commercial task becoming daunting for pupils due to number of reasons and certain steps can
be taken
to solve the above phenomenon.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressures
regarding academic on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, competition between students are increasing
dramatically
not within nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
all over globe.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are pushing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to excel in every field.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their child
A determiner is probably missing here: "into the best".
into best
school, where the bags are heavier than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
himself.
“Even after” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even after
school hours there are private institutes. Pupils do not have time to fulfill their dreams and bring out their hidden talent.

There are few social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
that effect juveniles life.
First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in huge dilemma. They want to adopt global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
force them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fellow
their traditions.
For instance
, family in India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fellow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
instead
of western and even they learn their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
age to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fellow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. Apart from that, learners
also
face peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if peers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. Most of the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lured when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
smart phone in peers
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hands and
they
also
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "want"
wants
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them. When they are unable to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
.

The solutions are not simple.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
handled with great care.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should not force them to success in every stream
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they fulfill their dreams, where they can find their hidden talent.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
shall give permission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fellow
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they learn and respect particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
or tradition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be taught
to win with modesty and lose with grace.

To encapsulate, I reiterate my opinion that, pupils are facing
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
field due a number of reasons and solutions can
be taken
to tackle the problem.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic,social and commercial perspectives. What measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?