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Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Other’s, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both viewa and give your opinion

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Other’s, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both viewa and give your opinion E37JB
There are many animals on earth but, we look so little. For instance, just look animals in country and looks zoo. Some people think that zoo are cruel and should be closed down. Other, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Firstly, most zoo parks in order to train animals beat, and to suppress gives drug. Its very bad. Sometime, it may kill the animal. Even though, it affect of animal natural character. Secondly, the zoo protects and reproduces endangered animals. For instance, Chinese zoo. There is reproduce panda. And first knows animal to children. The capital city child couldn’t ever going countryside. There children looks only zoo. Thirdly, in my view, we need a better legal for zoo. If we can, animal rights are not violated and the need of children are not limited
There are
many
animals
on earth
but
, we
look
so
little
.
For instance
,
just
look
animals
in country and
looks
zoo.
Some
people
think
that zoo are cruel and should
be closed
down. Other, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.

Firstly
, most zoo parks in order to train
animals
beat, and to suppress gives drug.
Its
very
bad
. Sometime, it may kill the
animal
.
Even though
, it
affect
of
animal
natural character.

Secondly
, the zoo protects and reproduces endangered
animals
.
For instance
, Chinese zoo. There is
reproduce
panda. And
first
knows
animal
to children. The capital city child couldn’t ever
going
countryside. There children
looks
only
zoo.

Thirdly
, in my view, we need a better legal for zoo. If we can,
animal
rights are not violated and the need of children are not
limited
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IELTS essay Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Other’s, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both viewa and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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