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Some people might think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people might think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion OV6kj
When it comes to being nice members in society, people may consider few different aspects; including following the social manner and rules, volunteering for minority, having a deep connection within neighborhood, etc. It is believed by some that teaching the children to become good citizen is the responsibility of parents, while others thought the school, instead, is the place to learn it. Firstly, it is an indisputable fact that family takes an crucial part in children behavior and value recognition, since there are plenty of researches indicate that during 0-5 years old, not only children has the greatest potential to learn and copy the behavior from the others, but also they spent most of time with their parents. However, when discussing about children socialization, we must not dismiss the school contribution. Unlike origin family, the school is a mini society, constituted by different people and ages, where the children first interact with others than family members. That is why some people consider the school should take the responsible for teaching children be a good member in society. I personally believed that both parents and school are equally important to children socialization. In my perspective, after parents showing from which the initial, basic social manners and behaviors children learn, children can apply in school when interacting with others, then modify the value recognition and behavior if necessary. Teacher would take the role of leading children what to do or not to do and even how to behave. For instance, with China population policy, many family only has one child, who accept excessive love and care, then become selfish and disrespectful to the other. When these children going to school, the interaction between them and their fellow, would more or less change their manner and recognition. In conclusion, it is both parents and school should teach children how to be good members of society.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to being nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
in society,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may consider few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects; including following the social manner and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, volunteering for minority, having a deep connection within neighborhood, etc. It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that teaching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizen is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
instead
, is the place to learn it.

Firstly
, it is an indisputable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
takes
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
crucial part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
and value recognition, since there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of researches indicate that during 0-5 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has the greatest potential to learn and copy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
from the others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they spent
Consider using "most time" or "most of the time".
most of time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
However
, when discussing about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
socialization, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not dismiss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
contribution. Unlike origin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a mini society, constituted by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and ages, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
first
interact with others than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
That is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should take the responsible for teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
in society.

I
personally
believed that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
socialization. In my perspective, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
showing from which the initial, basic social manners and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can apply in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
when interacting with others, then modify the value recognition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
if necessary. Teacher would take the role of leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
what to do or not to do and even how to behave.
For instance
, with China population policy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has one child, who accept excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care, then become selfish and disrespectful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. When these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the interaction between them and their fellow, would more or less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their manner and recognition.

In conclusion
, it is both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of society.
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IELTS essay Some people might think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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