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In Some Countries, A Few People Earn Extremely High Salaries

In Some Countries, A Few People Earn Extremely High Salaries DlYpE
No one doubts that leading healthy life is a blessing. So, it's essential to maintain healthy diets for keeping people sound physically and mentally, but often they can not properly maintain healthy diet in everyday lives. The main reasons of having unhealthy grains might be habit and busy lifestyles, while it is found that restrictions and regulations on restaurants and workplace could be the possible solutions to eradicate these problems. On one hand, millions of people are consuming unhealthy cereals because they are habituated to these foods. Firstly, native people of a region or nation are unwilling to eat healthy foods even if the native or local grains are harmful to them, resulting serious health disorders such as obesity, blood pressure etc. Secondly, some personals especially children and teenagers enjoy having junk food while they are at schools, colleges or universities. For instance, Md. Omar Faruk, a professor of University of Lahore, conducted a survey in 2016 and found that 76. 21% of university students ate their lunch outside of the home, resulting stomach related diseases. That's why it can be said that people can not maintain healthy diet because of their habits. Additionally, busy livestyles often force people leave healthy diets. First of all, when people especially employees are dedicated to their jobs, they get limited amount of time to took healthy food, resulting the consumption of junk food at restaurants. Moreover, entertainment industry has been rapidly rising and creating tremendous advertisements for food companies, which offer unhealthy food items for consumers, driving people away from accepting healthy diet. For example, McDonald, one of the well known franchise, often promotes its foods on television commercials, encouraging people to have their meals. Hence, it can be stated that busy lifestyles result driving people towards unhealthy food. On the other hand, the possible solutions could be setting up restrictions and regulations to reduce the problems. Firstly, restrictions must be imposed on restaurants regarding their food offerings; encouraging customers to have healthy and balanced food at restaurants could be effective. Besides, increasing the price of grains at restaurants may be proved successful to resolve these problems, because customers get demotivated when they find consumable products unaffordable. For example, imposing Value Added Tax(VAT) is an memorizing idea to do so. Another possible solution might be limiting the working hours at workplaces that are physically demanding. In conclusion, maintaining balanced foods is sometimes troublesome because of the habits of people and busy lifestyles, but imposing regulations and restrictions on restaurants and companies can be effective to litigate these problems.
No one doubts that leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life is a blessing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it's essential to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diets for keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
sound
physically
and mentally,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
they can not
properly
maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet in everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The main reasons of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
grains might be habit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
lifestyles, while it
is found
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrictions
and regulations on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
and workplace could be the possible solutions to eradicate these problems.

On one hand, millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
cereals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are habituated
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
Firstly
, native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of a region or nation are unwilling to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
even if the native or local grains are harmful to them, resulting serious health disorders such as obesity, blood pressure etc.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personals
especially
children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
enjoy having junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
while they are at schools, colleges or universities.
For instance
, Md. Omar
Possible spelling mistake found.
Faruk
, a professor of University of Lahore, conducted a survey in 2016 and found that 76. 21% of university students ate their lunch
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the home, resulting stomach related diseases. That's why it can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their habits.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
Possible spelling mistake found.
livestyles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diets.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
employees
are dedicated
to their jobs, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
limited amount of time to took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, resulting the consumption of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
.
Moreover
, entertainment industry has been
rapidly
rising and creating tremendous advertisements for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, which offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items for consumers, driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
away from accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet.
For example
, McDonald, one of the well known franchise,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
promotes its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
on television commercials, encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have their meals.
Hence
, it can
be stated
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
lifestyles result driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
food.

On the other hand
, the possible solutions could be setting up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrictions
and regulations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the problems.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrictions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be imposed
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
regarding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
offerings; encouraging customers to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
could be effective.
Besides
, increasing the price of grains at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
may
be proved
successful to resolve these problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
demotivated when they find consumable products unaffordable.
For example
, imposing Value
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
Tax(VAT) is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
memorizing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Another possible solution might be limiting the working hours at workplaces that are
physically
demanding.

In conclusion
, maintaining balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
troublesome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the habits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
lifestyles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
imposing regulations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrictions
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can be effective to litigate these problems.
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IELTS essay In Some Countries, A Few People Earn Extremely High Salaries

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
425 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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