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Some people think that video games are advantageous while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that video games are advantageous while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. qqDD
Some people think that video games are advantageous while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Some people believe that playing video games is more beneficial for users while others claim that it is more disadvantageous. I personally believe that video games brings more benefits while being aware of its drawbacks. On the one hand, playing video games has some advantages. Firstly, games helps players to relax and therefore they could work more effectively afterwards. It is very important for both students and people who have to deal with increasing overload for a long run. Secondly, playing games has a great educational purpose For instance, there are quite a few Morden games have English instruction and voice chat system, allowing people communicate to others in order to exchange culture all over the world. Moreover, video games could cure patients from some severe diseases such as cancer and psychology. On the other hand, video games frequently cause negatively to players in several ways. To begin with, people are prone to addictive to playing games and therefore they can not easy to get out and do exercise, leading to some modern diseases such as back pain and obesity. Secondly, video games could distract people, especially students, who need to concentrate to study at school, leading to worse results in schools due to the lack of concentration. My cousin, for example, he usually spends time playing games and keeps his eyes on the screen all the time. therefore, he has low score in his exams during this term. In conclusion, I personally believe that playing games are more beneficial despite the disadvantage people should aware of its.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are advantageous while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are harmful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who play them.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is more beneficial for users while others claim that it is more disadvantageous. I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
brings more benefits while being aware of its drawbacks.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
players to relax and
therefore
they could work more
effectively
afterwards. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for both students and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with increasing overload for a long run.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
has a great educational purpose
For instance
, there are quite a few
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have English instruction and voice chat system, allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate to others in order to exchange culture all over the world.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
could cure patients from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
severe diseases such as cancer and psychology.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
frequently
cause
negatively
to players in several ways. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are prone
Did you mean "too addictive to"?
to addictive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
therefore
they can not easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out and do exercise, leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
modern diseases such as back pain and obesity.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
could distract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
students, who need to concentrate to study at school, leading to worse results in schools due to the lack of concentration. My cousin,
for example
, he
usually
spends time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
his eyes on the screen all the time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
therefore
, he has low score in his exams during this term.

In conclusion
, I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are more beneficial despite the disadvantage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should aware of its.
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IELTS essay Some people think that video games are advantageous while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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