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Some people think that using networking is good and bad for everyone .discuss both views and give your opining

Some people think that using networking is good and bad for everyone. discuss both views and give your opining KykP9
In this contemparary era, some individual argue that using social network websites is positive or negetive development. I will discuss both side with my opining. First of all, the first advantage of using websites is source of information. In other word, now a days everyone use websites on mobile phones like as you tube, google atc. We can find any type of information with single click. As a result we can save time to use internet. Secondly, the negetive developmemt of networking is waste of time and health issues occur. To explain it, children prefer to watch and playing vedio games on mobile phones and computer they do not like to go for outdoor activities that is why the face many health problem. for example, USA goveronment survey that 55% children face health proble due to using cell phones. moreover, they spent most if the time on cell phone or computer rather then study so they waste time on this. In conclusion, people should use social network in limit they should do outdoor activities as well as spend time with family members.
In this
Possible spelling mistake found.
contemparary
era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "individuals"?
individual
argue that using social network websites is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
negetive
development. I will discuss both side with my opining.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
first
advantage of using websites is source of information. In other word,
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "uses", "used".
use
websites on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
like as
This word is normally spelled as one.
you tube
, google
Possible spelling mistake found.
atc
. We can find any type of information with single click.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result we can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet.
Secondly
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
negetive
Possible spelling mistake found.
developmemt
of networking is waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and health issues occur. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, children prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and playing
Possible spelling mistake found.
vedio
games on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and computer they do not like to go for outdoor activities
that is
why the face
Possible agreement error. The noun health seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much health", "a good deal of health".
many health
problem.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, USA
Possible spelling mistake found.
goveronment
survey that 55% children face health
Possible spelling mistake found.
proble
due to using cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, they spent most if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
or computer
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on this.
In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social network in limit they should do outdoor activities
as well
as spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family members.
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IELTS essay Some people think that using networking is good and bad for everyone. discuss both views and give your opining

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
182 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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