Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer.

It is indeed a fact that students should be provided with knowledge and hand on skills. So that, fresh graduates can easily cope with working experience needed in workplace. However, other people suggested that universities ought to focus with only periodical aspects rather than practical ones. In my opinion, the university should come up with quality education and also provide necessary training before recruited to any other companies. Firstly, universities are responsible to acquire hand on skills and accessment to their graduates. They should fully prepare their students before joining workplace or any other organizations. If the students are fully familiar with special knowledge and skills then, they can easily selected in the reputated companies. In my own experience, being a diploma graduate with hand on skills is mandatory in my university. In addition, mentors gave more priority to enhance skills rather than books' knowledge. Consequently, I have been selected in Volkswagen company because of the skills that are needed in their company. So, the foremost thing, I believe is focusing only on books are not enough, he/she should possess skills right on their hands. Secondly, college should also come up with the new education plan. For instance, in the last year of graduation, the university have to do programs, such as internship and visiting different companies in order to know what skills they should gain. Moreover, the training sessions and competitions are to be done actively to enhance their skills, plus work experience within their college surrounding. Besides, university is encouraging their students to have greater influence also with their speaking. Indeed, they are doing such activities like mass communication, personality development, dealing with costumers and so on. I believe these are the main functions of university. Conclusively, the new education system should be far-sighted for upcoming graduates which they acquire before recruiting to an employer. It is essential that the university ought to provide hand on experience which has positive impact to their graduates also after completion of their course.
It is
indeed
a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be provided
with knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
can
easily
cope with working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
needed in workplace.
However
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggested that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
ought to focus with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
periodical aspects
rather
than practical ones. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with quality education and
also
provide necessary training
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
recruited to any other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are responsible to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
accessment
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
. They should
fully
prepare their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
joining workplace or any other organizations. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
fully
familiar with special knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
then, they can
easily
The modal verb ‘can’ requires the verb’s base form.
selected
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
reputated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, being a diploma
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is mandatory in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
In addition
, mentors gave more priority to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
rather
than books' knowledge.
Consequently
, I have
been selected
in Volkswagen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that
are needed
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the foremost thing, I believe is focusing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on books are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, he/she should possess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
right on their hands.

Secondly
, college should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with the new education plan.
For instance
, in the last year of graduation, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do programs, such as internship and visiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in order to know what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
they should gain.
Moreover
, the training sessions and competitions are to
be done
actively
to enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, plus work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
within their college surrounding.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is encouraging their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have greater influence
also
with their speaking.
Indeed
, they are doing such activities like mass communication, personality development, dealing with costumers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. I believe these are the main functions of university.

Conclusively
, the new education system should be far-sighted for upcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
which they acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
recruiting to an employer. It is essential that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
ought to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
also
after completion of their course.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts