Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A report indicated that many children between 7 and 11 spend too much time watching television or_ and playing video games .how does this problem effect the children, their families and ssociety.What measures can be taken to control it?

Children plays an essential role in every nation's development. A survey conducted that majority of children's plethora of time invest with television and playing video games. Let is deliberate it put adverse impact on adolescents and solutions which will lead towards a logical inference. To begin with, there are myriad of negative effect to shore light upon the given proclivity. Discussing the first affect is mental problems. If children's too much time spend on indoor activities then they feel under various mental related health ailments such as stress, depression and many more. Apart from this, due to technology kids mostly give preference to electronic gadgets. consequently, they have more time sitting at rooms. Hence there bonding is weak with nears and dears. Therefore, their cognitive skills can not be improved.
Possible agreement error.
Children plays
an essential role in every nation's development. A survey conducted that majority of children's plethora of time invest with television and playing video games.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
Did you mean “us” or “it”?
is
deliberate it put adverse impact on adolescents and solutions which will lead towards a logical inference.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are myriad of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect to shore light upon the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
proclivity. Discussing the
first
affect is mental problems. If children's too much time spend on indoor activities then they feel under various mental related health ailments such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, depression and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Apart from this, due to technology kids
mostly
give preference to electronic gadgets.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
consequently
, they have more time sitting at rooms.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
there bonding is weak with nears and dears.
Therefore
, their cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

IELTS essay A report indicated that many children between 7 and 11 spend too much time watching television or_ and playing video games. how does this problem effect the children, their families and ssociety. What measures can be taken to control it?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • A report indicated that many children between 7 and 11 spend too much time watching television or_ and playing video games .how does this problem effect the children, their families and ssociety.What measures can be taken to control it?