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Some people think that they have right to use as much freshwater as they want . Others believe that government should tightly control the raw of fresh water as it is limited resource. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Water is a necessary resource for the survival of the mankind. While majority of people think that they can utilize water in abundance, there are people who are facing fresh water shortages all over the world. Besides, there arguments spanning around like; the government should impose some tight relations as well as restrictions on water usage. Let us examine both views and reach a concrete decision. To commence with, as the water is basic necessity for human, no one should be deprived from their rights. Without water it would be nearly impossible to get all your daily works done. Nonetheless, the drastic increase of population should also be taken into an account. Therefore, rate of consumption of water rises up along with the population. At the same time attitude of humans have a huge impact on this issue. Because of too many wastes, now the quality of water is destructed. On the other hand, government should take some action. Moreover, awareness about squandering water should be raised among the people. For instance, in some parts of the world places such as; hotels and restaurants have 24 hours access to water whereas some dry regions which lack water supply, are given limited chance for utilization. So, it is compulsory to perform some policies and save our future, before it is too late. To elucidate, according to my standpoint, instead of condoning all the events and letting the shortness of water to destroy our world, we should start doing something stimulate the people to save the water.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
is a necessary resource for the survival of the mankind. While
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they can utilize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in abundance, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are facing fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
shortages all over the world.
Besides
, there arguments spanning around like; the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tight relations
as well
as restrictions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
usage.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us examine both views and reach a concrete decision.

To commence with, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is basic necessity for human, no one should be
The usual collocation for “deprived” is “of”, not “”. Did you mean “deprived of”?
deprived from
their rights. Without
The comma is probably missing here: “water, it”.
water it
would be
nearly
impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all your daily works done. Nonetheless, the drastic increase of population should
also
be taken
into an account.
Therefore
, rate of consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
rises up along with the population. At the same time attitude of humans have a huge impact on this issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wastes,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is destructed
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
action.
Moreover
, awareness about squandering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
should
be raised
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the world places such as; hotels and restaurants have 24 hours access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dry regions which lack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
supply, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
limited chance for utilization.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is compulsory to perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
policies and save our future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it is too late.

To elucidate, according to my standpoint,
instead
of condoning all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and letting the shortness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
our world, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
doing something stimulate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that they have right to use as much freshwater as they want. Others believe that government should tightly control the raw of fresh water as it is limited resource.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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