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Some people think that there should be change while others not.write its advantage and disadvantage.

Some people think that there should be change while others not. write its advantage and disadvantage. yXxLD
Now a days, adults of some nation are preferring to travel or work for a while between completing their high school and commencing graduate studies. How ever, in my opinion it will not be a good option to take a gap in studies after they finish their schooling. The greatest benefit of working or traveling is that they will be able to gain practical knowledge of market and experience from a firm where they will be doing a job, consequently this will help them in getting a good job easily after they will finish their university studies, for example -after graduate studies interviewer generally asks question based in practice knowledge and experience, so Aleta the person with some experience will be ahead of many other students. Moreover, traveling will allow then a chance to refresh and explore the world, so that they will be of energy when university studies will begin. On the other hand taking a year gap can create some problems too, there is a possibility they young students may get attracted towards wrong activities such as consuming drugs and drinking alcohol during their free time. Furthermore he/she will be wasting one precious year of life. Along with these problems there is a chance that university may change the rules of admission or may be the cutoff score of upcoming year will be higher, in which he/she will not be eligible for admission. To conclude, although taking a year gap after high school has some positives, but in my opinion risks are more that young students may indulge in criminal activities which will ruin their life, hence students should continue their education without any break.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
, adults of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "nations"?
nation
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
to travel or work for a while between completing their high school and commencing graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
Did you mean "however"?
How ever
, in my opinion it will not be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option to take a gap in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
after they finish their schooling.

The greatest benefit of working or traveling is that they will be able to gain practical knowledge of market and experience from a firm where they will be doing a job,
consequently
this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in getting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job
easily
after they will finish their university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
,
for example
-after graduate
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "studies'" or "study's"?
studies
interviewer
generally
asks question based in practice knowledge and experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aleta
the person with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experience will be ahead of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Moreover
, traveling will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
then a chance to refresh and explore the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will be of energy when university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
.

On the other hand
taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
gap can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems too, there is a possibility they young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted towards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
activities such as consuming drugs and drinking alcohol during their free time.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
he/she will be wasting one precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of life. Along with these problems there is a chance that university may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of admission or may be the cutoff score of upcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
will be higher, in which he/she will not be eligible for admission.

To conclude
, although taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
gap after high school has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
positives,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
are more that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may indulge in criminal activities which will ruin their life,
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should continue their education without any break.

IELTS essay Some people think that there should be change while others not. write its advantage and disadvantage.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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