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Some people think that the technological advances from space exploration bring many benefits to the world, while others believe that money spent in this way is wasted and would be better spent elsewhere. Discuss both of these ideas and give your opinion.

Some people think that the technological advances from space exploration bring many benefits to the world, while others believe that money spent in this way is wasted and would be better spent elsewhere. bGYQ
Some people believe that space exploration is not a good way to use money, while others think space exploration has many advantages for people. In many opinion, some exploration is a big benefit for everyone on the planet, because of it increases technology in other areas and is a good way to improve a country's reputation. Firstly, space travel increase technology in many areas. Space travel increases medical technology such as cancer and heart attack. Many people saved their lives because they got good equipments from space technology ideas. Also it helps us with other technology, for example aeroplanes. Space technology has shown us how to improve aeroplanes and on the other hand this has helped us to save fuel and help our environment. Secondly, space travel improves our minds. People have always looked at the stars and wanted to go to there, and this is part of mankind's desires. Try to difficult things is good for our lives and it makes us feel happy. Also, space travel is good for the country because it increases prestige of the country. For example, China sent Yang Liwie into space in 2003 and Chinese people plan to send men to other planets in the future. However, some people feel that space travelling is not good because it waste money and it is expensive. They say we should spending money and it is expensive. They say we should spending money on the people, not spending money on space travelling, to help improve the quality of our lives. In conclusion, space travel is a big benefit for people and countries. It increases technology in many areas and it increases prestige for the country with space programme.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
believe that
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space
exploration is not a
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good
way to
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use
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money
, while others
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think
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space
exploration has
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many
advantages for
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people
. In
Possible agreement error. The noun opinion seems to be countable; consider using: "many opinions".
many opinion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exploration is a
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big
benefit for everyone on the planet,
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because
of it
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increases
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technology
in
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other
areas and is a
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good
way to
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improve
a country's reputation.
Firstly
,
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space
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travel
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increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in
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many
areas.
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Space
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travel
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increases
medical
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technology
such as cancer and heart attack.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
saved their
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lives
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because
they
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got
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good
equipments from
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space
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technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it
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helps
us with
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other
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technology
,
for example
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
.
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Space
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technology
has shown us how to
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improve
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
and on the
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other
hand this has
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helped
us to save fuel and
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help
our environment.
Secondly
,
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space
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travel
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improves
our minds.
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People
have always looked at the stars and wanted to
There isn't usually a preposition before "there". Did you mean "go there"?
go to there
, and this is part of mankind's desires. Try to difficult things is
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good
for our
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lives
and it
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makes
us feel happy.
Also
,
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space
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travel
is
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good
for the
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country
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because
it
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increases
prestige of the
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country
.
For example
, China
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sent
Yang
Possible spelling mistake found.
Liwie
into
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space
in 2003 and Chinese
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people
plan to
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send
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
to
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other
planets in the future.
However
,
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some
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people
feel that
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space
travelling is not
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good
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because
it
Did you mean "wastes"?
waste
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money
and it is expensive. They say we should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and it is expensive. They say we should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spending
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money
on the
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people
, not spending
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money
on
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space
travelling, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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improve
the quality of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
In conclusion
,
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space
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travel
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
benefit for
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people
and
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countries
. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
prestige for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
.

IELTS essay Some people think that the technological advances from space exploration bring many benefits to the world, while others believe that money spent in this way is wasted and would be better spent elsewhere.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
282 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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