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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. xomQ
Yes, I have seen and got to know that in number of countries countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. As a student I didn't experience or not encouraged to do such kind of thingdue to the fact in our country we don't do that we mostly start to work after our studies are done. However, that depends on our own thoughts. I think this might lead to both pros and cons. If they are allowed and encouraged to work or travel, youngsters will get to know good and bad. They will get to know the expenses required to live. Not only that if they are allowed to work they will know the struggle to live and earn their living. If they are allowed and encouraged to travel they will get to know various areas of the world, cost of living and everything. Consequently that they may think wisely and gain knowledge on the world and everything. While we look into disadvantages young people who are around 19 years of age may don't have good knowledge and can't handle the situation. Like number of people of that age may find number of difficulties in managing such kind of situations like they may not have ability to earn their living. They might go through bad paths for example they may get addicted to drugs which might be seriously problematic in health and soon due to the fact that they may don't develop good maturity for their age. Consequently I conclude this topic by saying that it has both advantages and disadvantages actually, it will be purely based on the youngster individually how they create and set path either in good path or bad path how you handle though it is difficult.
Yes, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that in number of
Possible typo: you repeated a word
countries countries
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. As a student I didn't experience or not encouraged to do such kind of
Possible spelling mistake found.
thingdue
to the fact in our country we don't do that we
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after our studies
are done
.
However
, that depends on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thoughts. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this might lead to both pros and cons. If they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
and encouraged to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or travel, youngsters will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. They will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the expenses required to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that if they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the struggle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and earn their living. If they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
and encouraged to travel they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
various areas of the world, cost of living and everything.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
that they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
wisely
and gain knowledge on the world and everything. While we look into disadvantages young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are around 19 years of age may don't have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
knowledge and can't handle the situation. Like number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of that age may find number of difficulties in managing such kind of situations like they may not have ability to earn their living. They might go through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paths
for example
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to drugs which might be
seriously
problematic in health and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
due to the fact that they may don't develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
maturity for their age.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
I conclude this topic by saying that it has both advantages and disadvantages actually, it will be
purely
based on the youngster
individually
how they create and set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
path
either in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
path
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
path
how you handle though it is difficult.

IELTS essay In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
303 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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