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Some people think that the role of parents is to discipline their children and teach them about right and wrong. Other people consider that the main responsibility of parents is to nurture their children and provide them with a safe environment to grow up in. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that the role of parents is to discipline their children and teach them about right and wrong. Other people consider that the main responsibility of parents is to nurture their children and provide them with a safe environment to grow up in. Lrl8R
Some may argue that teaching children about right and wrong is the crucial aspect of the role of parents. Indeed, children have to learn what they are doing is whether socially acceptable or not preparing for a new environment. However, in my opinion, the main role of parents lies in how well they nurture their children in a safe environment. First, disciplining children is one of the important roles of parents. As they grow up, they have to be apprehensive to others and not making any incidents. Otherwise, once they become adults, they are less likely to get promoted to a higher position considering their indiscreet decision. Another reason is teaching children about right and wrong will ensure their independence. According to the survey, it has been revealed that children who are doted by parents tend to become dependent on others. Therefore, parents need to pay attention to their children’s behavior. In contrast, nurturing children with a safe environment should also be considered to be the parents’ main responsibility. Although putting children in a competitive environment is one of the ways that help them become full-fledged adults, nurturing them with great affection helps them mentally. As an illustration, in South Korea, the number of the case associated with suicide is among the top of all countries. This is because they often shoulder too much pressure from their parents, and the fierce competitiveness makes it even worse. From my perspective, bringing up children in a safe environment should be the parents’ top priority. Although being harsh on children will benefit them in the future in terms of independence, the benefits of nurturing children with their comfortable environment and great affection far outweigh.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "argues".
argue
that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
is the crucial aspect of the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn what they are doing is whether
socially
acceptable or not preparing for a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
However
, in my opinion, the main role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
lies in how well they nurture their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a safe environment.

First
, disciplining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. As they grow up, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be apprehensive to others and not making any incidents.
Otherwise
, once they become adults, they are less likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promoted to a higher position considering their indiscreet decision. Another reason is teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
will ensure their independence. According to the survey, it has
been revealed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are doted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
tend to become dependent on others.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to pay attention to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
behavior.

In contrast
, nurturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
should
also
be considered
to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
main responsibility. Although putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is one of the ways that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them become full-fledged adults, nurturing them with great affection
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them mentally. As an illustration, in South Korea, the number of the case associated with suicide is among the top of all countries. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
shoulder too much pressure from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, and the fierce competitiveness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it even worse.

From my perspective, bringing up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
should be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
top priority. Although being harsh on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will benefit them in the future in terms of independence, the benefits of nurturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with their comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and great affection far outweigh.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the role of parents is to discipline their children and teach them about right and wrong. Other people consider that the main responsibility of parents is to nurture their children and provide them with a safe environment to grow up in.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that the role of parents is to discipline their children and teach them about right and wrong. Other people consider that the main responsibility of parents is to nurture their children and provide them with a safe environment to grow up in. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.