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Some people think that the only way to judge someone's success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of the success of business? In what other ways could a success in a business be measured?

Some people think that the only way to judge someone's success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of the success of business? In what other ways could a success in a business be measured? NrV9g
It is argued by some that money play's a vital role in defining the success of a business i. e. the more earnings a business makes, the more successful is the business. In my opinion, although, money can be the solution to many problems, but it cannot be used to measure the profit of a business. There are other factors that define the success of a business. Even though money can solve numerous problems in a business, it does not necessarily indicate success. Take, for example, a company is making billions of dollars even during the pandemic, but it fails to recognize the talent of its hard-working employees. Despite the huge profits the company is making, its employees are not happy. This makes employees lookout for other opportunities, where their hard work is praised. Thus, money is not a true indicator of success for the company. One way to measure the success of a business is to keep employees happy. A happy employee makes a happy company, which in turn makes a company thrive. For instance, employees can be given incentives for the good work they do or they can be given work-off days so that they are not burned out of working too much. Another way to calculate the success of a business could be by keeping a check on the goal which the business aims to achieve i. e. are the targets set achievable in the defined time frame or not. Keeping a check on targets is a way of measuring the success of a business, achieving more targets is directly proportional to the success of a business. In conclusion, money is one of the factors which solves many problems, but more money is not equal to success. A successful business should always keep in mind the mental state of its employees and at the same time should be able to attain the set goals in the required time.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
play's a vital role in defining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
the more earnings a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
, the more successful is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. In my opinion, although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be the solution to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to measure the profit of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. There are other factors that define the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of a business.

Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can solve numerous problems in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, it does not
necessarily
indicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. Take,
for example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is making billions of dollars even during the pandemic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it fails to recognize the talent of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. Despite the huge profits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is making, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
lookout for other opportunities, where their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work
is praised
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not a true indicator of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

One way to measure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, which in turn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
thrive.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
incentives for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work they
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
do or
they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
work-off days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are not burned out of working too much. Another way to calculate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
could be by keeping a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on the goal which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
aims to achieve
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
are the targets set achievable in the defined time frame or not. Keeping a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on targets is a way of measuring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, achieving more targets is
directly
proportional to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of a business.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is one of the factors which solves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not equal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. A successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
should always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind the mental state of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and at the same time should be able to attain the set goals in the required time.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the only way to judge someone's success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of the success of business? In what other ways could a success in a business be measured?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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