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Some people think that the news media nowadays have influenced people’s lives in negative ways. Others disagree and say that they have been more positive. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the news media nowadays have influenced people’s lives in negative ways. Others disagree and say that they have been more positive. KAPN
It is an undeniable truth that media is the most widely used around the whole country. Although many people believe that the news-press have influenced a person's daily routine one a pessimistic way, I differ from this to a large extent. My position is argued further with explanations. On the one hand, there are numerous advantageous ways for people's lives. The foremost one is knowing about the economy around the world. To be more specific, if media reporters are not showing the economy rate of any country, no one would prepare for increasing their economic growth for developing their region. For example, one survey was conducted in the US, they declared that 5 per cent of the economy well-fare growth done by just watching TV news. Moreover, they also give information about the prediction of weather conditions. So, we can take precautions about incoming dangerous things such as tsunamis, typhoon, heavy-rainfall, so on. However, I would not overlook the other side too. To begin with, there are some disadvantages that come from news media. Firstly, they are influenced by unnecessary things that have been presented by the media aids. Advertisement from the media has a great focus on the things that are unnecessary for people. To cite an example, children are willing to pay more money on fake beautiful things which they don't need. Also, rumours from the news are becoming threats to the public who are watching the news. To add to this, they could become panic and feel stressed. Consequently, this can occur in serious health issues. This, to conclude this discussion, it can be finally said that despite the issues of media, I believe that media is the only way to grow the success rate of the economy and to know more about weather conditions.
It is an undeniable truth that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is the most
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
around the whole country. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the news-press have influenced a person's daily routine one a pessimistic way, I differ from this to a large extent. My position
is argued
further
with explanations. On the one hand, there are numerous advantageous ways for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The foremost one
The verb 'knowing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is knowing
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
around the world. To be more specific, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
reporters are not showing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
rate of any country, no one would prepare for increasing their economic growth for developing their region.
For example
, one survey
was conducted
in the US, they declared that 5 per cent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
well-fare growth done by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
watching TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
Moreover
, they
also
give information about the prediction of weather conditions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we can take precautions about incoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
things such as tsunamis, typhoon, heavy-rainfall,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, I would not overlook the other side too. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Firstly
, they
are influenced
by unnecessary things that have
been presented
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
aids. Advertisement from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has a great focus on the things that are unnecessary for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. To cite an example, children are willing to pay more money on fake
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
things which they don't need.
Also
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
rumours
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are becoming threats to the public who are watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to this, they could become panic and feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
.
Consequently
, this can occur in serious health issues. This,
to conclude
this discussion, it can be
finally
said that despite the issues of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to grow the success rate of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
and to know more about weather conditions.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the news media nowadays have influenced people’s lives in negative ways. Others disagree and say that they have been more positive.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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