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Some people think that the museum should be enjoyable places to entertain people while others believe that that purpose of a museum is to educate. Discuss both views and opinion. v.1

Some people think that the museum should be enjoyable places to entertain people while others believe that that purpose of a museum is to educate. v. 1
Teaching mathematics as a compulsory subject in schools has become a controversial topic. Some parents think that mathematics does not play any vital role in our real lives. Hence it should not be part of an educational curriculum any longer while others disagree with them and are of the opinion that it should remain as one of the basic subjects. This essay will discuss both sides in depth. According to some parents, mathematics should be removed from school studies as it is not useful. They consider it insignificant because as per them it becomes redundant once students finish studies and move into their practical lives. Furthermore, they believe that the time spent on learning mathematical formulae can be utilized to learn skills that would benefit students in their jobs. For example, in high school, rather than teaching difficult topics such as trigonometry and matrix, schools can teach students communication and presentation skills. Students will gain a lot from learning these skills as opposed to complex mathematical concepts that are of no use to them. For these reasons, some parents believe that since mathematics is outdated, it should not be taught in schools. On the contrary, there are parents that strongly support the opinion that mathematics should remain an integral part of basic education given to children. Development of intellectual skills is the reason why these parents consider mathematics important. Basic mathematical skills such as problem solving boost students’ analytical skills and lead to students learning how to creatively solve a problem. A survey conducted in 2010 demonstrated that children who were taught mathematics from a young age were smarter than the others. They were able to critically analyze problems and solve them. Therefore, some parents do not agree with discontinuing maths as a subject. In conclusion, should mathematics be taught in school or not? A number of parents believe that mathematics is not essential while others disagree and think that mathematics is still relevant and important. This essay discussed various reasons why parents hold these points of view and whether mathematics should remain part of a school's studies.
Teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
as a compulsory subject in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
has become a controversial topic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
does not play any vital role in our real
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it should not be part of an educational curriculum any longer while others disagree with them and are of the opinion that it should remain as one of the basic subjects. This essay will discuss both sides in depth.

According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
should
be removed
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
studies as it is not useful. They consider it insignificant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as per them it becomes redundant once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
finish studies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
into their practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Furthermore
, they believe that the time spent on learning mathematical formulae can
be utilized
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that would benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their jobs.
For example
, in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
rather
than teaching difficult topics such as trigonometry and matrix,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
communication and presentation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
will gain a lot from learning these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as opposed to complex mathematical concepts that are of no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to them. For these reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
believe that since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
is outdated
, it should not
be taught
in schools.

On the contrary
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
that
strongly
support the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
should remain an integral part of basic education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to children. Development of intellectual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is the reason why these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Basic mathematical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as problem solving boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
analytical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learning how to
creatively
solve a problem. A survey conducted in 2010 demonstrated that children who
were taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
from a young age were smarter than the others. They were able to
critically
analyze problems and solve them.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with discontinuing
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
as a subject.

In conclusion
, should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
be taught
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or not? A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
is not essential while others disagree and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
is
still
relevant and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. This essay discussed various reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
hold these points of view and whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
should remain part of a school's studies.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the museum should be enjoyable places to entertain people while others believe that that purpose of a museum is to educate. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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