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Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Qyd1
The rich person has it is own value in regards of helping the community in various ways. Some people believe that the importance of as a wealthy person could generate more chances to help other people. This essay will argue that being rich would be a big factor in terms of helping other people but as a rich one has other responsibilities too. A wealthy person could help people in many ways, especially to poor people. First of all, a wealthy person can invest in many ways such as open a new factory where the poor people can get jobs. Secondly, they can open schools for poor people where their children can get valuable study free of cost. A rich person is an asset to a country because they have the potential to help people in any way. On the other hand, being rich that does not mean that they should spend all their money in helping other people. The wealthy person has his own life and family which comes first for him or her. For example, the money they have earned after doing hard work, they would first spend on the education of their children. The responsibility of a rich person starts from the looking after the family, not the people. This essay has argued that a person with plenty of money have the opportunity to help others, but he or she cannot ignore their famly in terms of looking after or helping. In my opinion, being a rich gives a person more chances of become a helping hand for poor people, however family is equally important in regards of help.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
value
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards of
helping the community in various ways.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the importance of as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
could generate more chances to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This essay will argue that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
factor in terms of helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as a
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rich
one has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
responsibilities too.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
could
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help
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people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways,
especially
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can invest in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways such as open a new factory where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs.
Secondly
, they can open schools for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
where their children can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
valuable study free of cost. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is an asset to a country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the potential to
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help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in any way.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
that does not mean that they should spend all their money in helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life and family which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
first
for him or her.
For example
, the money they have earned after doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, they would
first
spend on the education of their children. The responsibility of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from the looking after the family, not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This essay has argued that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of money have the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he or she cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
famly
in terms of looking after or helping. In my opinion, being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
gives a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
more chances of become a helping hand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
family is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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