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Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are the things such as television, friends and internet. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are the things such as television, friends and internet. Others believe that the family still remains more important. PKkJ
Nowadays television, friends and internet are playing important role for kids development while family members are more essential to develop child growth on social factors. I think, both things are needed to influence a little age kids development. To begin with, television helps to learn many important things producing several program and at present, internet are becoming very accessible and reliable to us. therefore, child can know anything using internet depending on their needs. In addition, friends has great impact in every humans' life and a large number of kids influence following their friends behaviour be it positive or negative. For example, they can be interested to be football or cricket player and can be smoker or drug addicted. Though, being associated with friends, kids are able to adapt socialism. On the other hand, not only the main factors like television, internet and friends but also parents contribute their valuable time to grow up their children at the very young age. And children get some behavior from their family by genetically. It is seen all over the world that offsprings are able to learn their first language from their family. mostly family guide their babies in difficulties and what should they do or not. In conclusion, i think, kids need all things to grow up properly including family and heathy environment and other basic needs. although family is more important to get support and to be secure.
Nowadays television,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and internet are playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
development while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members are more essential to develop child growth on social factors. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, both things
are needed
to influence a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
development.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things producing
Possible agreement error. The noun program seems to be countable; consider using: "several programs".
several program
and at present, internet are becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
accessible and reliable to us.
therefore
, child can know anything using internet depending on their needs.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
has great impact in every humans' life and
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
influence following their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
be it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
For example
, they can
be interested
to be football or cricket player and can be smoker or drug addicted. Though,
being associated
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are able to adapt socialism.

On the other hand
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the main factors like television, internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
parents contribute their valuable time to grow up their children at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age. And children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
behavior from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
by
genetically
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
all over the world that
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
are able to learn their
first
language from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
guide their babies in difficulties and what should they do or not.

In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
need all things to grow up
properly
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
heathy
environment and other basic needs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
support and to be secure.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are the things such as television, friends and internet. Others believe that the family still remains more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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