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Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as the resources are limited. While others think we can use as much water as we want. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as the resources are limited. While others think we can use as much water as we want. lB5Q
Gender issues and inequality trace back to times unknown. Unfortunately, they still prevail in our society. These issues exist around the globe, The fight against equality might feel hard but it is crucial. Gender inequality is a learned process, It is not something one is born with. The environment around an individual plays a major role in shaping their view of the world, especially when one is in their growing years. Gender issues exist because of faulty upbringing. It is difficult to root them out but not impossible. Women aren’t the only gender who suffer from discrimation, men and transgenders are equal victims. Films and songs objectify women, discriminate against transgenders, mock men for showing their emotions. The audience consumes this content and somewhere in the back of their mind these prejudices exist and in no time these thoughts turn into actions. School textbooks teach young minds that pink is a girly colour whereas blue is a manly colour. Girls are given a character certificate on the basis of the length of their skirts. Boys are laughed upon if they aren't sporty or “good at math”. Sexism exists in the workplaces. Promotions are not given on the basis of credit but on the basis of gender. Clearly, there is a need to flush out gender issues. Content and curriculum should always be biased- free because films, advertisements, songs, education institutions and workplaces have great power in them to influence people. Yes, it is extremely difficult to root these out of minds but nothing great ever came easy. Today, everything around us is advanced and modernised, conventional gender roles are difficult to live with. The fact that one is deprived of several opportunities just because of their gender is very disturbing. In order to live in a peaceful world, it is necessary to fight gender issues.
Gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and inequality trace back to times unknown. Unfortunately, they
still
prevail in our society. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exist
around the globe, The fight against equality might feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is crucial. Gender inequality is a learned process, It is not something one
is born
with. The environment around an individual plays a major role in shaping their view of the world,
especially
when one is in their growing years. Gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of faulty upbringing.

It is difficult to root them out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not impossible.

Women aren’t the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gender who suffer from
Possible spelling mistake found.
discrimation
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and transgenders are equal victims. Films and songs objectify women, discriminate against transgenders, mock
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
for showing their emotions. The audience consumes this content and somewhere in the back of their mind these prejudices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exist
and in no time these thoughts turn into actions. School textbooks teach young minds that pink is a
girly
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
whereas blue is a
manly
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
. Girls are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a character certificate on the basis of the length of their skirts. Boys
are laughed
upon if they aren't sporty or “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at math”. Sexism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exists
in the workplaces. Promotions are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
on the basis of credit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the basis of gender.
Clearly
, there is a need to flush out gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. Content and curriculum should always
be biased
- free
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
films, advertisements, songs, education institutions and workplaces have great power in them to influence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Yes, it is
extremely
difficult to root these out of minds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nothing great ever came easy.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, everything around us
is advanced
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernised' is British English.
modernised
, conventional gender roles are difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with. The fact that one
is deprived
of several opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their gender is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
disturbing. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a peaceful world, it is necessary to fight gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as the resources are limited. While others think we can use as much water as we want.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as the resources are limited. While others think we can use as much water as we want. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.